


If it's you

by emepe



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Casual Sex, College Student Eren Yeager, Eren Yeager is a Dork, Eren Yeager is a Soft Fuckboy, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Jealousy, Jean Kirstein is a Good Friend, Light Angst, Modern Era, Oral Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Smut, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:21:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28863963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emepe/pseuds/emepe
Summary: You had never thought about crossing the line into a sexual relationship with one of your close friends, yet a single trip to the laundry room was enough to make you question those limits.*Previously titled "I want it"
Relationships: Eren Yeager & Reader, Eren Yeager/Reader, Eren Yeager/You
Comments: 218
Kudos: 532





	1. dirty laundry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time reader, first time writer here ;) 
> 
> I'm trying to remain nonchalant at this being my first work but I'm a little too excited to share this. Sorry in advance if it's not that great but, also, I'm not really sorry (?) bc I had fun writing it so just enjoy! :)

"Don't forget to call me every time you go out" your mom reminds you for the umpteenth time since helping you move back into your dorm for the new semester. Classes didn't start until Monday but you had wanted to move back in since Friday so you could have a long enough time to settle in and get used to the environment once again. You sigh and set down the box you were carrying to give your mother a reassuring smile.

"Mom, chill out. It's not like it's my first time here, I know my way around. I can take care of myself."

"Don't tell me to chill out." She smacks you playfully on the head, or at least that's what she intended, because it actually hurts and you reach your hand up to rub the spot as you both laugh.

"When's Sasha getting here?" she asks while looking at the empty opposite side of the room. Sasha Blaus, your energetic roommate since freshman year had yet to arrive.

"She texted me earlier saying she wasn't gonna come back until tomorrow."

"Are you sure you don't want to go back home? I can drive you back on Sunday. I don't want you to be lonely all weekend" your mom tells you, worry spread across her face.

"It's just for today. Besides, I won't even have time to feel lonely. I'll spend all of today unpacking and tomorrow I'll help Sasha with her side of the room."

Your mom looks at you quizzically, still not convinced but finally lets out a sigh.

"Alright. Do you want me to help you with anything before I go?"

"I got it. If you lend me a hand I'll only be done sooner and then I'll have nothing to keep myself busy" you respond.

"Well then I guess I should get going" your mom sighs giving you a hug and patting your back. "Make sure to keep in touch."

"I will. Drive safe" you say as you watch her walk out of your dorm.

You stand there for a minute, staring at the bags containing your belongings before taking a deep breath and getting to work. 

\---

It was a quiet evening in your dorm after the last of your lectures on Friday. You were seated at your desk, typing away on your laptop while lo-fi beats flowed through your earphones. Your first week of your junior year had gone by pretty smoothly with only a light workload to worry about as everyone was easing back into the school life routine. Just as you were submitting an assignment, Sasha burst through the door and ran towards you, tripping over her feet and falling into your lap as you swiveled in your chair to catch her. As she stood up and composed herself, you stared at her, wide eyed while taking your earphones out. 

"Please tell me you're free tonight!" she yells.

"Are you okay?" you ask her, unintentionally ignoring what she said as you get up to close the door to your shared room. You gesture towards her shoes when she turns to look at you and she gives you a sheepish grin before walking back towards the door to take them off. You turn off your computer and plop down on your bed as you wait for her to speak.

"I've never asked you for anything, so please say yes to this" she says in a tone of desperation with her hands clasped together.

"I think I need a few more details before I can actually give you an answer" you tell her with a raised brow.

"There's a party at the frat house tonight to celebrate the new semester" she explains, sitting down with her legs crossed on her own bed and your expression drops saying _not interested_. 

"I thought we agreed to take it easy with going out this semester. I mean, I knew we were bound to switch up sooner or later but it's only been a week." You look at her disapprovingly. She chews the inside of her cheek.

"Niccolo invited me... I don't really want to go alone. Well, the guys are gonna be there but I don't really feel like asking any of them to be my buffer in case I freeze up", Sasha replies, shrinking more and more under your gaze after each sentence while fidgeting with her fingers.

Your expression softens the more Sasha speaks and you're left a pile of mush upon seeing her act so cute and shy. Niccolo was the guy Sasha had developed a crush on since the beginning of freshman year after sitting next to him for a core class. Sasha had an outgoing, bubbly personality, but she was putty when it came to him. How they ever managed to become close remained a mystery to you but you thought it was safe to bet Niccolo had done most of the work.

"Fine" you give in.

Sasha looks up at you in shock and gives you a small squeal before throwing herself at you and smothering you onto the mattress.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She kisses your head before getting up and grabbing a notebook from her desk. "I have to meet up with Mr. Ackerman in his office for something but I'll be back in a bit, so start getting ready. Party starts at 9:30!" she half yells at you as she runs out the door.

\---

The party was in full swing when the two of you arrived at the frat house just a few minutes past the time Sasha told you. The night was oddly warm for fall but the recurring light breeze made you shiver. You had chosen to go in a black satin slip dress with a short but sexy slit on the side paired with black strap heels. Sasha had worn a forest green camisole and a black skirt, her brown hair tied up in it's usual ponytail.

"Wow, I didn't think it would be this full so early" says Sasha as you take in the overflow of drunk college students. You scrunch your face at her and she laughs nervously. "I kind of lied about the time, I just wanted to get here early to find Niccolo easily" she admits.

You flick her forehead and grab her arm to walk inside. You're instantly hit with the scent of sweaty bodies, alcohol and weed. There are led lights that switch to different colors lined along the ceiling and the music is loud enough to knock the rest of your senses dumb. Sasha pulls out her phone to check her messages.

"Niccolo says he's in the basement with Jean and the guys." Sasha calls into your ear as you make your way through the crowd. 

When you finally reach the basement entrance, you're glad to drown out the music from the outside after closing the door. The basement is less crowded than the upstairs but there's still a fair amount of people in the dimly lit area. Sasha scans the room and squeezes your hand tightly when her eyes meet with Niccolo's back. He's chatting with Jean, one of Sasha's friends. A few feet to the right, you spot the rest of "the guys". They're more of Sasha's friends than yours, but you had quickly taken a liking to them when Sasha had introduced you last year after the two of you had started growing closer. They had all pledged under the same fraternity that was hosting the party. There was Jean, tall and slightly muscular with light brown hair and a kind smile. Armin, a lean blond with an undercut and large blue eyes. Connie, a tall, beefy guy with a buzzcut that seemed a bit intimidating at first glance, but was actually a funny, lovable goofball. Then there was Eren, who stood at six feet with green eyes and somewhat long hair that was usually kept in a bun. You had been thrown off by his flirty personality the first time you met, but you soon came to realize that was just who he was, a naturally cocky but charming bastard. Although he was pretty much known for engaging in casual hookups often, actually all four of them were, they were still decent, caring people. They're all laughing and joking around, beers in hand. You see Jean nudge his head in your direction and Niccolo turns around. Once he notices Sasha, he offers her a sweet smile and waves the two of you over. You catch Sasha's breath hitching in her throat.

"Calm down. Just be your usual self" you murmur. 

Sasha blows at the strands of hair that have fallen from her ponytail and you can see her giving herself a mental pep talk before adjusting her posture and letting go of your hold as she walks over to meet Niccolo, leaving you to follow along behind her.

"Fancy seeing you here." Jean smiles at you once you reach them and leans down to plant a kiss on your cheek. You smile back and raise your hand to ruffle his hair. 

"Yeah, I thought I could use a break. First week is always the hardest."

Jean chuckles and asks if you want anything to drink. 

"Maybe just a soda for now" you reply. 

"Got it" he gives you a nod and walks over to a cooler on the other side of the room.

You turn to check up on Sasha and almost take a step forward to greet Niccolo but stop yourself at the sight of your brunette friend giggling at something he's whispering in her ear. 

"Is orange fine?" Jean's reappearance makes you jump and you reach out to take the can from his hands.

"Yeah, thanks."

You hear someone calling Jean's name from upstairs and he looks at you with an apologetic look on his face. 

"Go ahead" you reassure him.

Jean walks away and you stand there, sipping on your soda, needless to say a bit awkwardly, until you feel a tap on your shoulder. 

"Hey. I didn't realize you were here." You look up and see Eren hovering over your shoulder with a lopsided grin. "That was a lie. I actually saw you when you came in" he gives you a wink before standing in front of you and taking in your appearance. He tilts his head a bit and his smile grows at the slit on your dress. "You look hot."

"Shut up", you roll your eyes and observe his outfit as well. How someone could look so good in just a plain black t shirt and sweats was beyond you.

"So are you just here to be a third wheel or something?" he teases you and gestures over to Sasha and Niccolo chatting up a storm. You watch as Niccolo places his hand on the small of her back and motions her over to the sofa placed in the center of the room in front of the TV.

"Guess I wasn't needed as a buffer after all" you mutter to yourself and Eren laughs. 

"Yeah, I think she'll be fine."

The two of you fall deep into conversation over your summer vacations and your first week back. That is, until your body is suddenly pushed with force towards Eren's chest, spilling your soda and his beer between the two of you, and he's quick to catch you before you fall face down on the floor. When you get back on your feet, you both turn to look at the unknown culprit and see a random guy passed out on the floor behind you.

"Ah crap, who let this guy down here?" Eren says as he unsticks his shirt from his skin and then notices the liquid dripping from your dress. "You okay? Ah shit..." he looks around as if he's looking for something before holding your hand and urging you towards a door in the back. "Come on."

He closes the door behind you and as your eyes adjust to the darkness, you take note of the washing machine and dryer lined up against the wall. Eren flips the light switch and the lightbulb flickers for a bit before turning on completely. You lean against the washer as you watch him move around the small space.

"Don't tell me you're looking for something to dry me off in _there_ ", you scrunch your face in disgust as you watch him look through the contents of a laundry basket placed on the floor. He throws his head back with an airy laugh.

"Relax. It's clean. I was doing laundry before the party. Catch." he throws a towel in your direction and you take a quick sniff at it while he's not looking to make sure it's actually clean. Nodding in approval, you start to wipe yourself off. 

"What are you doing?" you ask, alarmed when you see Eren taking off his shirt from the corner of your eye.

"It's sticky" he states and shrugs. "Gonna throw it in the wash real quick."

Your eyes involuntarily shift towards his abs and then back up at the key that dangles from the leather necklace he always wears. He walks over to you and smirks in reaction to your staring. You break your intent gaze on his body when you register how close he is, your chests just a few inches apart.

"Move." he says in a firm voice but his smirk confirms he's teasing you.

You feel the heat rise up to your face and you move in front of the dryer to grant him access to the washing machine.

"You done with that towel?" he nods in direction of your hands.

"Uh, yeah" you mutter handing it over to him. He loads the soap dispenser, presses a few buttons and, seconds later, you hear the water running inside the machine to begin the cycle.

You both stand there, leaning awkwardly against the machines. At least, you're the only one being fidgety, playing with your fingers and looking around at everything in the room but him. Meanwhile, Eren... well, Eren's as normal as ever, completely unfazed.

"You should put a shirt on." You nudge at his arm with your elbow.

"I thought you would appreciate the thought if I stayed like this for a while" he teases.

"You wish" you scoff.

"Could've fooled me. I know I caught you staring." he says and even though you refuse to look at him, the tone of his voice makes it obvious he's enjoying putting you on the spot. "It's cool, though. I don't mind if it's you."

That last sentence yanks your anxious gaze from your feet to his eyes. You hadn't noticed when he had managed to move his face that close to yours, your noses barely an inch apart. You inhale deeply through your nose and his scent is mesmerizing, citrus with a hint of ginger and cedarwood. 

"I-" you begin to say but he cuts you off.

"I won't do anything unless you want me to" he says, his voice serious and husky. You unconsciously bite your lip. His eyes flicker towards the movement and he lets out a soft sigh, his warm breath fanning across your face. You'd be lying if you said you didn't find Eren attractive but you were supposed to be no more than friendly acquaintances. Things would be awkward with how often you crossed paths with him thanks to Sasha.

 _Fuck it,_ you decided. 

"Go ahead."

He closes the distance between your lips and starts kissing you softly, testing the waters. When you take it upon yourself to move closer, he places a hand around the back of your neck and the other on your hip. He tugs at your bottom lip with his teeth, making you gasp and he quickly reconnects with your mouth, slipping his tongue inside to massage your own. You can taste the bitterness of the beer on his tongue but, oddly enough, it turns you on even more. You grab the waistband of his sweats and draw his hips closer to yours, searching for the friction you needed between your thighs. He groans into your mouth and, without breaking your heated make out session, he lifts you by the waist with both hands and sits you on top of the dryer. He starts grinding slowly against your crotch and you respond by moving your own hips forward to meet his movements. He caresses your thigh with his right hand and digs his fingers into your skin as you wrap both arms around his neck. The key on his necklace swings with every movement and bounces between your chests. The skirt of your dress has now ridden up to your hips, leaving your underwear exposed. He uses the hand on your thigh to spread your legs open and sneaks his fingers towards the fabric covering your center. 

"Tell me if this is okay" he mutters against your mouth.

You limit your response to a simple _don't stop_ between heavy pants and sloppy kisses. 

He moves your underwear to the side and coats his middle finger with your juices before sliding it inside you. He presses his finger against your walls and you move your hips, urging him to quicken the pace. He responds with what you need, adding another finger and using his thumb to massage your clit. You bite down on his shoulder as he hits your g spot with every thrust. As soon as he feels you clench around his fingers, he starts pumping even faster and you whimper into the crook of his neck. Eren finishes helping you ride out your high and brings his fingers up to his mouth. He licks his index finger clean while staring dead straight into your eyes. The sight is so alluring and his face is so beautiful you can't look away.

"Suck" he says and brings his middle finger to your lips. You stare at him dumbfoundedly but obey, wiping your juices clean while he makes sure you get every drop. You feel faintly dizzy, trying to process everything that's happened up to this moment.

Eren tilts your chin up and places a kiss on your lips before bringing your head to rest on his chest, allowing you to take a minute to even out your breathing. Once your vision clears up, you gently push Eren back and hop off the dryer. You kneel to the ground and grab a hold of the waistband of his sweats. You suck on your bottom lip as you look up at Eren in silent question. He seems panicked, eyes blinking rapidly and lips slightly parted.

"You don't have to-"

"I want to." you interrupt him. He swallows hard before nodding.

You slide his sweats down along with his boxers, unleashing his erection. You swipe your thumb across the tip to collect the small amount of precum and lick it off. He screws his eyes shut and turns his head to the side.

"Fuck" he whispers.

You start to pump his length slowly with your hand before opening your mouth and taking him in. You bob your head up and down his cock, swirling your tongue and sucking teasingly every other time you're back at the tip, still using your hands to compensate for the parts you can't reach. He hisses and steadies himself with one hand against the dryer. He collects your hair with his other hand and moves it out of the way to indulge himself in the view of you sucking him off. He tightens his grip on your hair, making you moan, delivering vibrations that make him throw his head back in pleasure. You keep your movements and teasing constant until you feel him twitch in your mouth and you increase the speed, bringing tears to your eyes, until his hot seed erupts into the back of your throat. The warm substance starts dripping from your mouth and you do your best to swallow as much of it as you can before getting up and brushing the dust off your knees. 

He looks at you incredulously as he catches his breath and goes through every detail of your appearance through wide eyes. Your flushed expression, the strands of hair sticking to your sweaty face, the small string of his fluids mixed with your saliva on your chin and the tears in your lustful eyes. 

"Pretty" he whispers with a dazed expression. You involuntarily shudder at the compliment and you both stand there, just looking at each other. 

The moment is broken when the alarm from the washer goes off. Eren blinks and adjust his clothes before heading over to switch the contents into the dryer and you wipe your forehead and chin with the back of your hand and adjust your dress before walking towards the door. You place your hand on the knob hesitantly. _Is it weird if you just leave?_

"I um... I'm gonna go look for Sasha." Eren looks at you and opens his mouth to say something but almost immediately closes it and plasters a smile on his face.

"Yeah, sure. See you around?"

"Mhm" you nod shyly and walk out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written anything, let alone smut so if anyone who reads this has any pointers, I'm all ears. Will this have another chapter? Maybe, just let me see how this goes bc uni just started this week and I've yet to figure out what my schedule is going to be like post-classes each day moving forward. Regardless, I had fun taking a shot at it. Hope y'all liked it! :)


	2. it takes two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided I was going to keep writing if I got a certain amount of kudos and I got 'em so here's chapter 2. Happy reading! :)

Reentering the basement room was like stepping back into a world you forgot you ever knew, as if the laundry room was some alternate universe where time stood still. Your mind was hazy and your vision blurry as you paced in direction of where you had last seen Sasha. You couldn't understand why you felt this way, like your body wasn't your own and you were nothing but air. It wasn't like you had never hooked up with anyone at a party before, but you never would have thought to do anything with someone you considered to be close with. You'd been absent for a while but Sasha was still in her spot on the couch beside Niccolo, only this time, they were making out. You stop in your tracks and shift your weight uncomfortably wondering if you should just make your way out of the frat house without a word, but in that moment, Connie walks by behind the sofa and smacks Sasha on the back of her head.

"Stop sucking face and pay attention, Sasha" he tells her, speaking your name and nodding towards where you're standing. Sasha purses her lips in annoyance at Connie, but an intense blush covers her entire face. She stands up and, noticing the lost expression on your face, cups her hands around your cheeks.

"Are you okay?" she asks worriedly. 

You laugh dismissively and scratch your forehead.

"Yeah, I just think I'm gonna head back to the dorm. I'm not in much of a party mood." you reply with as much of a casual tone as you can, hoping Sasha can't somehow sniff out what you were doing in the laundry room with Eren. Sasha bites her lip, throwing a not so discreet glance in Niccolo's direction.

"You can stay if you want, I'm not asking you to come with me. Just be careful." you tell her and her face relaxes into a grateful smile.

"I will. Text me when you get home, okay?" she places a kiss on your head and pinches your cheek. You smile and nod. 

Your eyes gravitate towards the laundry room door for a last peek and you nervously chew your lip when you see Eren walk out, his torso now covered with a grey hoodie, his eyes frantically surveying the faces of the people in the room. When he comes across yours, he stares at you for the longest second but you break eye contact first and navigate to the upstairs and out the frat house. 

\---

You arrive back at your dorm around 11 and immediately change into sweats and an oversized crewneck sweatshirt after texting Sasha to let her know you made it safely. Taking a seat at your desk, you start wiping the makeup off your face with cleansing oil. You then gather your cleanser and towel and head out to the bathroom down the hall to wash your face. When you get back, you notice your phone lighting up on your bed, indicating a new message. 

_Sasha: Cops came. I'll be home in 20 minutes. xo_

Before you get the chance to put your phone back down, another message comes in from none other than the boy that dry humped you against a dryer. Your heart threatens to burst out of your chest as you tap on the notification and his conversation pops up on your screen.

_Yeager: I'm outside your building._

_Can I come up?_

You send him a _yes_ and throw your phone on your bed straight away, smacking your face with both hands, as if that would help rid the heat that radiates from your cheeks. You start pacing around the compact dorm room while biting down on your thumb, coming to a stop when you hear a soft knock at the door. You open it and there's Eren, hair swept by the breeze outside, having made a few strands of hair from his bun fall loose around his face. His nose and cheeks are tinted with pink, his chest rising up and down in a way that makes you wonder if he ran his way over to see you. 

"Hey" he greets you shyly, scratching the back of his neck.

"Hi" you give him a small smile.

"Is it okay if I come in?" he asks, drifting his gaze between you and the floor.

You limit your response to a nod and make way for him to walk inside. He takes his sneakers off and places them carefully by the door, contrary to his usual way of just kicking them off and lazily throwing them against the wall whenever Sasha invited him and the rest of the guys over. You lumber towards your bed and plop down on the mattress. He swivels Sasha's desk chair around to face you and sits, his hands gripping the edge of the seat. 

"Um" he speaks slowly and furrows his brows as he finishes his sentence. "Did I do something wrong?"

His question catches you off guard and you shake your head, instantly regretting having left without saying anything to him. 

"No, not at all. It's just... I don't know. Maybe I just felt a bit weird because we see each other so often. I mean, I guess I thought of you more as my friend? Or I guess it makes more sense to refer to you as Sasha's friend, but still, we get along pretty well and I never really thought about crossing that line is all."

He stalks over to your side of the room and takes a seat beside you. You shift a bit so that you can face him properly. 

"Can I be really honest with you for a minute?" he finally breaks the silence.

"Of course" you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.

"I know I've flirted with you a lot since we met, and I'd be lying if I told you I've never fantasized about something happening between us, but that... _thing_ back at the party... I liked it, I liked being with you. I wanted to talk to you right after, but you left so fast I thought you were running away, and I didn't want to make it seem like I was harassing you... I'd really like it if we did more of that together. You know, just... make this a usual thing." He adds the last sentence in a bashful tone.

You direct your sight to your hands, trying to process everything he's said and when he sees you hesitating to give an answer, he continues to speak.

"Listen, I don't know how bad of a guy you've made me out to be in your head, but I would never force myself onto you." he says. You smile to yourself, detecting the sincerity in his words. 

"Besides, I think you're really hot." And the magic's gone. You laugh and prepare yourself to punch him in the arm but he's quick to grab your wrist and pull you closer to him. 

Eren smirks at you and you hold your breath, admiring his face. You had never gotten the chance to observe his facial features this close and for this long before under proper lighting. The laundry room had been your first chance, but everything seemed to have gone down so quickly, you wanted to take your time with this second opportunity. All you can think about is how hypnotizing the green of his eyes is and how warm his touch feels around your wrist. He fixes his emerald gaze on your lips and you take a deep breath, the scent of ocean mist fabric softener from his freshly washed hoodie coming through your nostrils. He reaches his other hand to grab hold of the back of your neck, his thumb stroking the side of your face tenderly. You realize he won't actually do anything until you tell him to, so you take matters into your own hands and pull at the neck of his hoodie with your free hand, cutting the distance between your lips down to nothing. You sigh into the kiss as his hand releases its grip on your wrist and creeps up underneath your sweatshirt and massages your waist. He sucks on your bottom lip and you allow him to savor the insides of your mouth with his tongue. After a few second like this, he calls your name and you hum in response. 

"Do you wanna do this then?" he mutters against your lips. 

"Wait, right now?" you break apart from the kiss briefly.

His lips curl up in the cutest smile and he shakes his head lightly, the tip of his nose rubbing against yours. 

"Maybe not tonight. Unless that's what you want, in which case, I'm all yours." he teases and you giggle.

"We probably shouldn't. Sasha was already on her way back." you inform him.

"Lock her out" he jokes. You grin, shaking your head.

"It's late. Go home." He pouts and you try your best not to swoon over how adorable he is. He gets up from the bed and goes to put on his sneakers. You trail behind him and open the door.

"You haven't given my proposal an actual answer, though" he whines and you start pushing him out into the hall, laughing. He gives you a small pout. "It's okay if you say no but I won't leave until you give me an answer."

You turn your gaze towards the ceiling, exaggerating the way you furrow your brows and scrunch your lips, feigning a moment of deep thought. Eren huffs air from his nose, slightly amused at the way you're making him wait for an answer. "Yes." 

"Really?" he beams at you with the most breathtaking, innocent smile. You nod.

"Yes, now _go_ before Sasha sees you." you beg him.

"Hell yeah!" he boasts and skips down the hall towards the back stairs, but not before grabbing your face with both hands and giving you a peck on the lips.

You roll your eyes and giggle at his childlike behavior as you watch him disappear around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first note was kind of a lie because I got carried away after posting the first chapter and I may have already planned out the general storyline for future chapters lol. This chapter was somewhat short, but I'll do my best to make them a little longer as I go. 
> 
> Hope y'all had fun reading. Also, good luck to everyone who's back in school! You can do it, bub! :)


	3. strawberry and whine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is here! I already have a list with all chapters planned out, but I still managed to struggle writing this one *cries*. I really liked the way it turned out, though. I also did not intend for it to be this long, but here we are. 
> 
> Happy reading!

It was once again Friday night, one week after Eren and you had made the perhaps questionable friends with benefits deal. You had caught sight of each other around the main campus building a few times. Eren would throw his signature head tilt and cocky grin your way, except now, it had an underlying message only you two were aware of. You drag your feet into the dorm room, exhausted from having such a packed academic schedule on the last day of the week. Yet you had still chosen to stay a few hours doing homework in the library before going back to the dorm. You kick off your shoes, not bothering to fix them in an orderly fashion and slump against the wall. 

Sasha's stretched out on her bed scrolling through her phone while snacking on a bowl of popcorn. She only acknowledges your presence when you let out a loud groan and lay flat on the floor. 

"You okay there, babe?" she asks without looking too interested in receiving an actual answer.

"Tired." you mutter.

"If your gonna nap, do it on your bed. The floor is filthy" she says absentmindedly.

"Well, then I'm glad it was your turn to clean the dorm this week" you say as you sit up and dust your clothes with your hands. At this moment, you realize she's in her robe, her hair still damp from the shower you deduct hasn't been long since she got out of. 

"I'm sorry, I got distracted." she lazily apologizes, throwing a piece of popcorn in the air, miserably failing to catch it with her mouth. She stretches her body without getting up from the bed in an attempt to reach the spot where it fell under her bedside table, but her eyes widen when she reads the time on the digital clock placed on top.

"Oh, shoot" she utters and quickly gets up and starts rummaging through her closet.

"Don't tell me you're going out again this weekend." You cross your arms as you watch her pull out a short brick colored dress with spaghetti straps. 

"Well, I figured since we already broke our promise last week it wouldn't really hurt to go all out." she says matter-of-factly. "Wanna come?" she gives you an excited grin and raises her eyebrows at you as she strips herself of her robe and throws the dress over her head.

The flutter in your stomach is something you can't ignore upon weighing the possibility that you might see Eren again at this party. 

"The frat house again?" you speak in the most nonchalant tone you can express.

"No, not this one." Sasha replies as she moves to her desk to start applying her makeup. The tingling sensation in your stomach dies down at her answer. "It's actually at the Yeager house." Now your interest is piqued again. 

"Eren's house?"

"Yeah. He actually lives close by, he just loves the frat boy lifestyle." she explains, rolling her eyes. "Oh yeah, his brother Zeke is gonna be there, you'll get to meet him. He's a few years older, but he's pretty cool." Sasha says with a shrug, opening her mouth as she runs the mascara spoolie through her lashes. 

"What, are his parents out of town or something?" you ask as you walk to your own closet and try to find something to wear, suddenly free of any form of exhaustion. 

"Oh..." Sasha's tone is now somber and you turn to look at her, confused. She slowly rubs her lips together to spread the lip gloss she just applied evenly and screws her mascara tube shut while looking at the floor. "I guess I forget you haven't been in our friend group that long sometimes."

"Why? What's wrong?" you ask her cautiously. 

"Eren lost his parents in a car accident when he was 12." The way in which Sasha speaks, her voice low and measured, makes you question if you should even be allowed to know this information at all, but she continues explaining the situation to you regardless. "I met him in high school, so even I only know bits and pieces. He wasn't there when it happened but, after they found out, his grandparents immediately took custody of him and Zeke." You stare down at the white turtleneck shirt and denim shorts you picked out from your drawers. "Zeke moved out after graduating from college and offered Eren to stay with him. Obviously he lives in the frat house now, but he still goes over there every once in a while and he still keeps in touch with his grandparents."

You feel uneasy. It's as if you've suddenly been thrown a bucket of ice water and you can't help but feel guilty for not knowing about Eren's family past sooner. Granted, there had never been any real need to discuss personal matters such as this one, but you'd think that a year would be long enough to at least know that he even had a brother.

"Don't look so sad about it. Eren doesn't like to feel pitied by people." Sasha's smile puts your heart to rest. "Hurry up and get ready so we can leave together."

You push aside all your thoughts and finish laying out your clothes on your bed before grabbing your toiletry bag and sprinting to the showers.

\---

It was almost a pity how nice Eren's house was, considering the chaos that was unraveling both inside and out. You figured this would be a larger scale event than the one from last week, considering there would be no need to worry over damaging school property, but still... 

As Sasha and you are about to go through the gate that leads to the backyard, you hear a car honking at you and you both turn around to see Jean waving at you from the driver's seat of his Jeep as he pulls up the driveway. He parks a few feet from the garage and all four doors open with Armin, Connie, Niccolo and, of course, Jean stepping out. Jean lightly jogs over to you with a grin spread from ear to ear and Sasha runs over to embrace Niccolo, the shy persona that would normally take over her having been dissolved. You make a mental note to ask her how things are going with him later. 

"Hey, cutie" Jean says, his smile not faltering one bit. He throws an arm around your shoulders and you place yours around his waist. 

"Hey" you reply, giving him a friendly squeeze.

"You look nice" he compliments, twirling a lock of your hair between his fingers.

"Thanks" you beam up at him and his grin shrinks to a subtle smile, lips parted slightly to release a soft sigh. 

"Hurry up!" you hear Armin's voice call out yours and Jean's name. Everybody else has walked through the gate and are several feet ahead of you. Jean pulls his gaze from you and you both start walking to catch up with the others.

You gradually take in the view of the back of the Yeager household. There's a large pool completely taken over by a game of chicken, only a few people sitting at the edge, dipping their feet in the water. Although you were wearing shorts, you hardly thought tonight's breezy weather was adequate for taking a swim. There's a couple of tables set a few feet from the pool. One of them has a set of speakers placed on one end and a pile of snacks along with several opened bottles of liquor and soda on the other. The second table has been proclaimed the game table, with several people lined up to participate in a match of flip cup. Jean takes your hand and ushers you into the crowd.

\---

An hour. It's been an hour since you've arrived yet there's no sign of Eren. It was stupid of you to get all worked up about being able to see him this weekend. You mentally scold yourself for acting upon impulse and lustful desires. Sasha, Niccolo, Connie and Armin had all gone their separate ways soon after entering the backyard, so it was just you and Jean sitting on the kitchen counter, sipping on water and vodka respectively, while watching a group of people gathered around the island going crazy over body shots. You were grateful, though. Out of the whole friend group, Jean was probably the easiest to talk to, right next to Eren. _Where could he be?_

Jean's in the middle of telling you yet another one of those cheesy jokes he starts spitting out when drunk, when he suddenly puts his solo cup down and hops off the counter to greet a tall blond man with a beard.

"Zeke! My man, when did you get here?" he pulls him into a hug and they give each other a pat on the back. You perk up at the name, recalling your conversation with Sasha back at the dorm.

"First off, this is my house. Second of all, I was out to dinner with a few friends and just got back. Have you seen Eren?" He looks over to the body shot crowd. You notice that he doesn't look one bit overwhelmed by the amount of people in his house and start to wonder what kind of person he might be when your eyes meet. "Who's this?" he asks Jean without taking his eyes off you. Jean introduces you enthusiastically.

"Isn't she pretty?" he half yells, slurring his words, the tips of his ears burning red.

"Yeah, very pretty" Zeke tilts his head slightly and you shudder on instinct, reminded of a certain someone. 

"And several years younger, so back off." a voice speaks from behind Zeke and a rush of excitement flows through your body. You know exactly who it is.

"Eren, where were you?" Zeke tries to bring his arm around his younger brother, but Eren dodges his touch.

"I was busy." Eren mumbles and you get the feeling the Yeager brothers aren't a close pair. Zeke purses his lips and looks at you, slightly embarrassed that you're witness to him receiving such cold treatment.

You can feel the atmosphere getting heavy. Eren notices you fidgeting and pulls you off the counter, tilting his head and giving you a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. He leads you away from the kitchen, leaving a defeated Zeke and apprehensive Jean behind.

\---

Eren and you are sitting at the top of the stairs, watching the party unfold around you. 

"I'm sorry about that. I know you probably felt really uncomfortable." he says in a tone you can't read through.

"It's okay. Liking your siblings isn't always easy." you shrug.

"No, it's not- never mind. Were you having fun?" his tone is suddenly back to his usual, lively self.

"I guess so. Drunk Jean can be very entertaining sometimes. I was starting to get worried you ditched your own party, though." you shyly admit as you poke his arm. He liberates an airy laugh.

"Nah, some of the guys from the fraternity got here early, so I just took a nap in my room while they set everything up." he explains.

"You were _napping_? With all this noise?" you raise an eyebrow at him and he chuckles.

"Yeah. Everything drowns out pretty well in my room. Besides, my bed's really comfy... I can show you if you want" he draws his face closer to yours, wiggling his eyebrows and wearing that cocky grin you kept seeing throughout the week.

"Maybe later" you decide to tease him a bit and you feel accomplished when he starts sulking.

"Are you trying to get back at me for napping?" he pouts and you giggle.

"No. It's just think that you could use a little dialing down with the horniness" you joke.

"Oh, so you weren't out there just waiting for me to show up so you could get with me? Seriously, I think _you're_ the one that needs to get their mind out of the gutter." He speaks out your name in mock disappointment and you can't decide whether you want to slap the grin off his face or give into his teasing and laugh. 

"You are so..." You blush furiously at his comment and tear your gaze from him so he can't see how on edge you are that he hit the nail on the thoughts you've had all night. _That's exactly what I was doing._ But you would never tell him. He'd never let it go.

"Cute?" he holds your chin and turns your face to look back at him. You inhale sharply and he slowly breaks into a smirk while swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. "Can I kiss you?" he murmurs and you nod, a fuzzy feeling invading your chest from him being so considerate over such a small detail. Eren's hand finds its way to the back of your neck as he leans in and kisses you tenderly. His soft lips move in sweet, peaceful sync with yours. He doesn't try to slip his tongue into the equation nor does he dig his teeth into your lip as he did on previous occasions. It may be because you're surrounded by many people, ergo, neither of you can do anything too raunchy, but you can't imagine anyone interpreting this scene as something other than romantic. 

Eren's mouth travels to your ear and lightly tugs at it before whispering _come with me_. He stands up and offers his hand to lift you up as well. He takes you down the corridor, navigating between the groups of intoxicated people and unlocks the first door on the right. 

As soon as Eren steps into the room behind you, he shuts the door and pins you against it. You barely have time to react, because he takes your face between his hands and starts kissing you fervently. You respond to his needy actions and grip the hem of his shirt as you introduce your tongue inside his mouth. He grunts and takes a small step back, only leaning back in for a couple of seconds more to suck on your bottom lip, humming as he tugs on it with his teeth. _There he is._ You mewl at the sensation. 

"Strawberry lip gloss... I like it." he mutters against your lips. His words and subtle moan over the taste of your lips has your stomach doing backflips. It was strange, you thought. It was strange that he had this effect on you now, when you would just ignore any flirtatious innuendoes pre-agreement. _It's probably just the rush of sneaking around. Or pheromones._

Eren takes your hand and escorts you towards his bed. There's a towel that's suggestively laid out on top. You throw him a questioning look and he bites down on his tongue, giggling.

"What? I always have to be prepared" he justifies himself and you try your best to suppress an eye roll. "It spoils the mood if I have to tell a girl to wait because I don't want to get my sheets dirty... It's a pain to have to have to wash them more often than necessary." he finishes off with a shrug.

You take note of the second door in his room that leads to what you hope is a bathroom so you won't have to face the crowd of people outside after doing the deed.

"Come here" Eren's voice stops you from mapping out the rest of his room. He holds you by the waist and nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck.

"I won't pressure you to do something, but tell me if anything is off limits, 'kay?" he pronounces.

"Okay" you tell him and he begins kissing your neck, swirling his tongue over the skin every now and then. You give into his touch easily, running your hands over the muscles on his back.

"Wait." you tell him and he pauses his actions. The look of worry on his face almost makes you laugh, but you're too eager to reconnect to his touch. "Shirt" you command briefly as you eye his chest and he hurries to follow your instruction as you strip yourself of your own top. When you finish pulling the garment over your head, he's already in the process of ridding himself of his jeans as well. 

He presses himself against you once more as you fumble to remove your shoes, and when the back of your knees hit the side of the bed, he pushes you down carefully, your head falling onto his pillows, your lower back lined up on the towel. _Geez, he wasn't kidding about being being prepared._

You hold onto Eren's neck as he caresses your tongue with his own. There's something about your skin being in contact with each other that makes a simple make out much hotter, the feeling being reflected in the slickness underneath your panties. Eren grinds his hips between your thighs, keeping himself steady with his hands placed on either side of your head, and you grab at the braided leather of his necklace.

"I wanna eat you out" his velvety voice confesses in your ear and he pulls back to see your reaction. The question alone is enough to send cold shivers down your back and his lascivious expression does nothing to help your throat regain its moisture. 

"Please." you whisper and you bite your lip as you catch a glimpse of the key from his necklace dangling between the two of you. 

Eren gradually disappears from your line of vision, leaving a trail of kisses along your torso and grazing his fingers over your thighs. He carefully undoes your shorts and you lift your hips to allow him to remove them. His tongue swipes across your clothed cunt and your legs shudder slightly in anticipation. 

"So wet already" he murmurs, pronouncing it more as self praise for getting you riled up so easily. 

He gently removes your underwear and begins to dive in between your folds, emitting a few groans every few seconds. His skilled tongue provokes slight panting on your behalf as you lower your hands to grip at the towel that's underneath you. Your right leg is pulled over his shoulder as he sucks and teases your clit. You mutter a soft _more_ and Eren is happy to comply, hooking his hands around both of your thighs and pushing his face even further into your sex. The longer his sweet torture is prolonged, the sloppier and more urgent his strokes get. As Eren pushes you into a wave of euphoria, your legs start trembling and you repeat his name in between moans until he finishes off by lapping his tongue around to collect your juices.

When Eren's face comes up to yours again, he's wearing a shit eating grin. _Such a dork._ He rubs his pelvis against your thigh and you shake your head in amusement.

"Hold on. Protection." he pecks you on the nose and gives you a wink before reaching into the drawer of his nightstand and straightening up on the bed. 

You lay there with your eyes closed and your arms thrown above your head as you wait for him to put on the condom. What you didn't expect was for him to wrap his arms around your waist and lift you up from the mattress while swinging his legs over the edge of the bed in one swift move, adjusting your legs so that you're now straddling him. You gape at him, unable to hide how impressed you are with his agility. He holds onto your waist with a firm but warm touch, tracing circles with his thumb and he gives you a cheeky smile.

"Hi" he says, his eyes glistening as they bore into yours.

"Hi" you reply in a hushed voice, giving him a shy smile.

He sucks on his bottom lip and you look down at where your pelvis areas meet. His cock is pressed against your stomach. You hear him swallow and you lift your eyes back toward him. You gingerly lift your body and take his length in one hand to line him up with your entrance. Eren closes his eyes and lets out a small hiss as you lower yourself back in fractions until you take him in completely. He presses his forehead against yours, eyes still closed.

"Whenever you're ready" he murmurs and you hum in response. 

A few seconds go by while you get used to the feeling of him inside you. When you're finally ready to move, you set a slow pace at first, gently moving your body up and down his length, careful not to slap any skin. Once you start feeling more comfortable with the movements, you start gyrating and rocking your hips back and forth, up and down, the friction and tightness of your vagina causing Eren to moan your name in your ear. The sound is heavenly and you find yourself wondering how it's possible for him to make your name sound so beautiful yet so dirty, and all you want is to be able to make him produce more of those sensual noises. 

"You should try spelling out my name down there" Eren suddenly says, breath uneven. You lean back to stare at him, biting your lip to contain the fit of laughter that's begging to be released, but ultimately fail, throwing your head back and letting out a gleeful scream. When you look back at him, Eren has the biggest smile while staring back at you, the kind that also makes his eyes gleam with joy. He chuckles softly.

"You are so... _weird_ " you tell him, shaking your head. 

"Well, at least give me credit for making you laugh." he playfully pouts.

Neither of your smiles are erased as you start up your movements again, having paused them to react to Eren's strange antics. Soon, the mood is back to being lustful and needy. Eren's not afraid to be vocal and grunts when you tighten around him as you near your high. He reaches down with one hand and rubs circles on your clit with his thumb. You reach your orgasm but you don't stop your movements and you push Eren back on the bed to give him his own release. It doesn't take long and you're surprised, but also extremely pleased when you hear him _whine_ as he cums, the warm fluid filling up the condom and his lewd voice hitting your ears just right. You both remain in that position, the only sounds emitted being pants gradually slowing down to your normal breathing.

"You good?" he asks without lifting his head.

"Yeah. I'm good" you reply.

"Awesome" he says and, from your high point of view, you're able to peep the little smirk that's slowly taking over his features. 

Eren props himself up with his elbows to look at you. Same as he did in the laundry room, he takes his time to feast on every detail. You roll your eyes and giggle as you get off of him and point at the door in the back of the room you saw earlier.

"Is that a bathroom?" you ask.

"Yeah, go ahead" he responds, nodding as he takes off the used condom, ties it in a knot and chucks it in the trashcan by his dresser. 

You finish your business and splash a bit of water on your face to cool yourself down before walking out to switch places with him. He's already taken the towel off the bed and fixed his covers, leaving your clothes neatly folded on top. You smile at the gesture and get dressed while you wait for him to finish his turn in the restroom. 

"I never would've pegged you for the noisy type" you speak your mind as you watch him come out and pad his way to his dresser to look for a fresh pair of underwear. He snorts as he slips his legs through a set of navy blue boxers. He finishes getting dressed with a smug grin on his face and throws himself on the bed, pulling you down with him. 

"Does it turn you on?" he teases, his smug expression showing no signs of fading.

"A little" you admit, resisting the urge to smile. No matter how much you didn't want to say it out loud, everything Eren did fell under nothing less of charming. It was cute, really, the way he would tease you in more ways than one. The more you stare at his face, the more you find the similarities between him and Zeke, but you fight back the urge to ask him anything about his family. He could confide in you when he's ready. You lay there with Eren in comfortable silence for what seems like hours, but are probably no more than thirty minutes, before you both decide to go back out to the party. Your first time with Eren had definitely been a fun one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me putting y/n and Eren in another party setting: I have the mind of a- the mind of a mastermind. I'm so creative like that.
> 
> Anywayssss...  
> Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! I feel like Eren is just really dorky, hence that little "spell my name" bit lol. Hope you've all got a better idea of the dynamics between your character and Eren.


	4. comfort zone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovely readers! We all know Eren is a good guy, right? Right. I feel like writing this fic has been somewhat therapeutic and it gives me so much comfort, especially after last week's episode :( If anyone else is still crying, we can cry together.
> 
> Happy reading!

Professor Erwin Smith really knew how to make his class a total drag. It didn't help much that you hadn't eaten anything since the granola bar you downed in a matter of seconds this morning, when you realized you had overslept and had to bolt to your 8 am lecture. It was now around five minutes until noon and Mr. Smith's comparative religion ramblings were going through one ear and out the other, as you wondered why nobody had spoken up about the time. You turn to your left and see Armin knocked out cold, his cheek pressed flat against his notes and his arms drooping underneath the desk. You chuckle lightly to yourself and poke at his side to try to wake him up but it's no use. A sudden clap makes both of you jump and you let out a sigh in relief when you realize it's just your professor getting ready to dismiss the class.

"Would you look at that, it's already noon. I'll see you all on Thursday. Don't forget to submit your essays before the time limit!" 

Armin looks at you, dazed and confused from having his peaceful nap interrupted. You giggle and help him put away his things. You sling your bag over your shoulder and you both make your way out of the classroom. Once you're out in the corridor, Armin lets out a big huff of air.

"I swear it feels like that class is five hours long" he says as he stretches his arms above his head. "I'll see you on Thursday." He gives you a small wave and a smile before turning to walk to his next class. You bid him goodbye and start heading to the exit. You make it onto the courtyard and while you look through your phone, trying to make up your mind on what to eat, you hear the sound of quick paced footsteps closing in on you, and you spin around to see Eren jogging behind you to catch up to where you're standing, his boyish smile growing as he nears you.

"Hi" he greets you.

"Hi" you respond and your brain has the nerve to remind you of the events that took place in his bedroom on Friday. Eren seems to have had the same idea, he tilts his head with smugness, but the crimson shading of his cheeks is clear as day.

"I uh... I saw you walking out of class with Armin. Going back to the dorms?" he asks and you shake your head, but before you can explain where you're headed, he speaks up again.

"Have you eaten?" 

"I was actually deciding what to get. All I've had is a granola bar." you explain. He furrows his brow and looks at you disapprovingly.

"That's not good. Let's eat together. There's this really nice bistro cafe a few streets away. My treat, how does that sound?" You nod gratefully and you both start your journey out of the courtyard when you notice a pale skinned, raven haired girl walking in the opposite direction, eyes widening slightly upon noticing Eren. She fumbles to take a step backwards and she smiles shyly at your companion. She has pin straight hair and her all black clothes make her skin look almost translucent, making her black lipstick pop. 

"Eren, hey," she brings a hand to his arm to gain his attention. Eren blinks down at her, seemingly not having noticed her until she touched him. You see his eyebrows furrow for a split second before quickly putting on a half hearted smile. 

"Mikasa, hey. How've you been?" he asks, but you read his tone as awkward and not at all interested. You suddenly feel the urge to brush your fingers through your hair to make yourself look somewhat presentable between two such attractive people. Clad in jeans and a plain white tee, you get the feeling you don't look nearly as good as they would in the exact same outfit.

"Great. I've been wondering when I would see you again." she beams up at him and you unconsciously mirror her smile as you both wait for Eren to say something. He doesn't. "I actually tried texting you on a few occasions after the last time we were together, but they never went through." It hits you. She's one of Eren's hookups. "I kind of just assumed you changed your number and forgot to tell me." she chuckles and looks down at the ground.

"Uh, sort of. I um... lost my phone. I've been saving up to buy a new one so I haven't really been in contact with anybody outside of school." Eren replies casually. You raise your eyebrows slightly but don't say a word. "Yeah, sorry, I'm actually on my way to a tutoring session with my friend here and we're running kind of late, so..." _More lies._ Mikasa finally looks at you and she gives you a warm smile. You stretch your hand to greet her and tell her your name.

"Sorry, I won't hold you guys back any longer then." Mikasa seems sincere with her apology. She looks at you. "It was nice meeting you."

"You, too." you reply with another smile.

"Tell me if you ever want to catch up, Eren. Don't be a stranger." she wraps her fingers around his arm one last time and gives him an insinuating smile before leaving. 

As Mikasa walks away, you slowly break into a teasing grin as you look at Eren, but it slowly fades when he doesn't give you a reaction. In fact, he looks a bit bothered by what just happened. It isn't until now that you register how tense his shoulders were when they slump back to their usual relaxed state.

"I'm really sorry about that" he says while rubbing the back of his neck. You purse your lips before responding.

"It's cool. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I mean, we're casual right?" you smile at him.

Eren's expression remains neutral as he looks at you, then he nods, turning his head to focus on where he's going.

You make it out of campus grounds and finish walking the way to the cafe. Eren opens the door for you to walk in and as you wait to be seated, you observe your surroundings. The atmosphere of the place is very refreshing. There are several plants hanged along the ceiling and there are tall windows spread along the walls that allow the natural light to pour inside. You're soon ushered to a table by the window and you look through the menu. After a few seconds, you finally decide on what you want and you look up at Eren to tell him you're ready, but his absent gaze makes you hesitate. He's staring out the window, watching people walk by outside of the cafe, lost in thought.

"Eren?" you call for him and he snaps back to the present.

"Sorry, did you say something?" he asks and you give him a worried smile.

"I was just going to say I'm ready to order" you tell him. He nods and gestures for the waiter to come over. You both place your orders and wait for your food to arrive while munching on the complimentary breadsticks. It was nice to eat out with Eren, you would do so every now and then, whether it was with the entire friend group or just the two of you. He made sure you felt welcome, but right now, you were feeling a bit concerned about his quiet attitude. You're about to ask him what's wrong when the server comes along with your food and cutlery. You thank the waiter and turn to look at Eren.

"So... You didn't seem too happy about seeing this Mikasa chick. She's a very pretty girl, though." you voice as you unfold your napkin onto your lap.

"Yeah... I guess so." he says, furrowing his brow and looking down at his plate. 

"Did something happen? You don't have to talk about it, but I'm here to listen if you need it." you choose your words carefully as you speak, not wanting to strike a nerve.

"It's nothing serious... She and I would hook up during freshman year. We both agreed our relationship wouldn't be anything more, and it was going great, until she told me she wanted more."

"And you didn't want that," you state.

"Fuck, it's just... I didn't want to hurt her feelings, really." he looks slightly uncomfortable as he explains the situation to you. He keeps talking, though. "I told her it was better to end things and just continue as friends and she agreed, but then she started getting passive aggressive with any other girl she thought I was seeing, so I just cut her off." You take in Eren's words, now understanding why he was so tense back on campus. At the same time, you wonder if the fake tutoring session was just a cover so Mikasa wouldn't try anything with you. 

"Well, did you actually say anything to her about her stance, though? I mean, I don't speak for all women, but I would prefer a guy be extremely clear over his reasons for cutting me off, even if it takes a jab at my pride. Maybe Mikasa needs closure and you didn't really give it to her." 

"I _was_ clear. She just doesn't understand. It's just annoying when they try to overstep boundaries we've already agreed to, you know?" he looks up at you, curious to see if you'll agree with him. And you do. You know what it's like to have someone be so persistent when you don't want anything to do with them, regardless of whether or not you have history. So you nod your head at Eren and reach over to pat his hand that's placed on the table. He smiles at the small gesture of physical comfort and flips his hand to stroke yours with his thumb. You both go back to your meal in silence, the topic of Mikasa being left alone. As you finish up your food, you look up to catch Eren staring at you with his chin propped up on his hand, the usual smirk painted on his face.

"What?" you inquire, with a confused smile. You reach for your drink as you look at him quizzically.

"Just trying to imagine having you under me for our next time," he says casually. You nearly choke and he laughs when you punch his arm.

"Eren, oh my gosh, please _shut up,_ " you scold him through gritted teeth and you look around to see if anyone happened to hear his shameless comment, but your amused expression lets him know you're not all that mad.

\---

Lunch with Eren had ended on a good note. Even though he had invited you first, you insisted on paying your half of the bill, and then he retaliated by insisting on walking you back to your dorm building. As you walk up the stairs to your room, already dreading the future hours to be spent on typing your essay for Professor Smith's class, you also go over what Eren said back at the cafe. You understood Eren's position. It had never crossed your mind that he would have trouble in the relationship department, though, much less if it had anything to do with girls. You start to overthink about your current relationship with him and what you mentioned about boundaries the night you made out in your dorm. Not much had changed but the fact that you were now sleeping together. You were still friends, you cared about each other and you got along as always, but- _No, he wouldn't have to worry about that with you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for making Mikasa the clingy girl :( This is a one time appearance for this fic, though. I might write something for her in the future to make up for it. At least we had a little more Armin this time lol. 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. Next is a steamy one... Just saying ;) It's still in editing so patience, please. I wrote an Armin x Reader one shot if you would like to check it out, just click on my pseud/username. Also, I've decided I'll be posting a new chapter every weekend, that way I can write during my spare time after school and then revise it after completing at least _**some**_ of my assignments for the weekend. I'm off to work on a presentation for my thesis course *wipes a tear away*, wish me luck!


	5. secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hehehe es hora de comer, es hora de comer!" (translation: it's time to eat). That video cracks me up every time. This is the fastest I've ever written a chapter, y'all. Doesn't mean it was rushed, I promise.
> 
> Before we start, I just want to thank all of you that have subscribed (both to me and the story) and bookmarked this fic! Also, everyone who's ever commented is so sweet, y'all make my heart phat >:(
> 
> Happy reading!

The library was usually your safe haven and you often found yourself locked up in its confines to concentrate on your assignments or get ahead on your reading for your classes. But quarter exams week had made traffic in the aisles skyrocket. It was a good thing you had stopped by several days in advance to reserve a private study room. You had spent the entire afternoon there, drowning in a sea of review sheets and flashcards. By the time you walk out, having decided you've done enough studying to get through your exams for the following day, it's already dark outside, the only light source being the lamps lined along the courtyard. You cross the street towards the dorm buildings and make your way up the stairs of yours.

When you unlock the door to your room, you're shocked to see several more people besides Sasha. Your roommate is sprawled on her bed, laying on her stomach, her notes scattered around her, Niccolo on his knees beside her, rubbing her shoulders. Armin is sitting at her desk, propping his head on his hand while seemingly quizzing her on a series of terms. Jean is sitting on the floor in between the beds, watching Sasha struggle to give Armin answers and Eren is laying comfortably on your bed, with his back against the headboard and scrolling through his phone while making bubbles with the wad of gum he's chewing. They all turn to look at you the moment you walk in, wearing sweats and a denim jacket, your hair tousled by the wind. Eren smirks at you when you meet his gaze. Jean throws a grin your way and you reciprocate with a smile.

"Oh, thank goodness, I thought you were someone else." Sasha breathes a sigh of relief. Although you lived in a co-ed building and there was constant sneaking around between floors, you still had to take your precautions when bringing someone over to you room.

"What's going on here?" you ask to no one in particular as you shut the door behind you and lock it.

"Just helping Sasha study for Italian," Armin responds before yawning.

"All of you?"

"Well, it was only supposed to be Niccolo and Armin, but the rest of us didn't really have anything better to do, so we thought we could tag along." Eren gets up and saunters over to you. "Hope you don't mind." He tilts his head and presses his hand against the wall, leaning down to spit his gum in the trashcan beside you, before straightening up and giving you a wink. You rip your gaze from him and clear your throat, walking over to leave your bag at your desk. 

"What about you? Where were you?" Jean questions from his position on the floor.

"Library," you respond shortly with a smile and he raises an eyebrow.

"Studious girl," he praises and you giggle.

"I guess you could say that." You shrug your jacket off and reach into your closet. "I'm gonna take a shower real quick, okay, Sasha?" The brunette just nods and waves her hand to dismiss you, refusing to take her attention off her notes. You collect your toiletry bag and everything you need to change in the shower room, in case the guys are still in your room by the time you come back, and put on your slippers before you head out the door. As you turn to the left at the end of the hall, the entrance to the showers just a few feet away, you see Eren stepping out of your room from the corner of your eye and you turn around completely, secretly praying you didn't drop your underwear or something on your way out. He approaches you with that boyish lopsided smile and almost by instinct, you mimic his expression.

"Need something?" You lift an eyebrow as you study him.

"No, just on my way out. Wanted to say goodbye." You let out an airy chuckle.

"How sweet of you. I thought you were on your way to ask me for shower sex," you say and almost instantly heat up, regretting the words. Eren laughs.

"Well, if you're up for it..." He shrugs while looking over to the side, putting up his nonchalant act.

"No." You give him a punch in the arm. 

"Hey, you're the one that brought it up!" he reminds you.

You both laugh until you hear a set of voices coming up in the opposite hall. You recognize one of them to belong to Hange, your RA. Even though you were close with them and everyone on your floor trusted them with handling discreet matters, you did _not_ want to find yourself in a sticky situation if whoever they were with saw you with Eren in an all girls floor late at night. You don't have time to think and you just shove Eren into the shower room and lock both of you in one of the stalls. _Please don't let them come in here._

A few seconds pass and you exhale, assuming you're safe for now. You realize you're pressed against Eren's chest despite the stall being big enough for the both of you to stand comfortably and you back away. Eren's eyes shimmer in amusement as he bites his lip, suppressing a laugh.

"You just can't keep your hands off me, can you?" he taunts. "How convenient for you that someone was passing by." 

"Shut up, Eren," you whisper loudly at him and slowly open the stall door, poking your head out to check if nobody else is in the showers. _Coast clear_. You proceed to place the hanger with your clothes and towel on the hook outside the door and your toiletry bag on the showerhead before turning to look at Eren with an exasperated expression. He tilts his head at you in feigned confusion.

"Get out! I have to shower, you creep," you laugh and playfully roll your eyes when he pulls you in by the waist and tilts your head so you look at him. 

"A kiss for the road?" he mutters and although the action seems a bit more intimate than what you're supposed to have with him, you oblige because why wouldn't you. He's adorable and always asks the right questions. What you intended to be a simple peck escalates rapidly in yet another make out session, his lips already adjusted to your regular pace when kissing, the signature lip bite that's soon followed by his tongue and the urgency behind his hands grasping your face as if you were to run away at any moment. You weren't complaining, though. If anything, it felt kind of exciting to do this with Eren after almost getting caught in the hallway.

Eren breaks apart just long enough to strip you of your shirt and throws it over the stall door as you get rid of your jeans, copying his actions to set the garment aside. You were both on the same page of where you wanted this to go. He closes the distance between you once more and starts leaving kisses along your jaw. He brings his hands behind your back and expertly undoes your bra, then grazes his fingers over your shoulders, pulling down the straps and throws it with the rest of your clothing. You shudder as you watch him slowly lower himself down without breaking eye contact and, when he's in line with your underwear, he subtly raises an eyebrow. You don't give him a verbal answer, but instead just tug lightly at his hair towards your already soaking pussy. He gives you what you want and frees you of your panties. He swipes his tongue along your slit and you throw your head back and sigh. Same as he did that first time, he coats his fingers with your slick before pushing them inside you, curling and rubbing at the right spots, all while paying special attention to your clit with his tongue, swirling and sucking, eliciting soft moans on your behalf until you come undone under his touch. He sucks his fingers dry as he gets up.

"Take your shirt off," you manage to say in between ragged breaths. Eren obeys. He quickly reconnects with your mouth and sucks on your tongue, allowing you to savor the lingering flavor of your secretions, while his hands wander over your bare breasts and cup them, rubbing his thumbs over your perked nipples. 

"Are hickeys okay?" he asks and you mumble an affirmation. 

Eren pushes you back into the wall, the cold tiles against your skin making you shiver, and glides his tongue down your neck and towards your shoulder, stopping at your collarbone to suck at the sensitive skin vigorously. You feel him smirk against your chest when he hears you whimper over his shoulder and he proceeds to lean back a bit to allow himself to leave a few more marks on your breasts. One hickey... then two... three... you give up on keeping count and settle for enjoying the painful but satisfying sensation. He takes your left nipple in between his teeth and gives it a gentle bite before swirling his tongue around the hardened bud and giving it a hard suck, making a _pop_ sound as he releases it. You look down and see a painful looking tent forming along the material of his jeans and reach out to palm at his erection through the fabric causing him to groan.

"Do you have a condom?" you breathe out. Eren pulls back and smirks. 

"Of course I do," he says and slips his hand into his back pocket, but his confidence is diminished when he realizes there's nothing there. He fumbles looking for the familiar foil packet in every pocket, but keeps coming back empty handed. "Crap, I was sure I brought one with me. I'm sorry, we can do something else... Unless you want to stop." He looks at you apologetically and you bite your lip before voicing the alternative you have in mind.

"Or you could just... you know... pull out," you struggle to get the last couple of words out, well aware of the heat taking over your face and you raise your gaze to the showerhead, too embarrassed to see Eren's reaction. When you take a peek at him though, he's shaking his head at you, unable to hide a delighted grin. 

"Are you sure?" he asks and you nod.

"I mean, I'm on the pill so we could just... but, you know, I'm not really into that yet," you tell him and his grin grows impossibly wider.

"Ah, so you went on the pill for me," he teases and you give him a push.

"For cramps, you idiot." He laughs.

"Okay, okay... I'll give you anything you want." His husky voice and compliance makes you squirm and rub your legs together. He removes his jeans and boxers, stuffing his necklace in one of the pockets and adding them to the growing pile of clothes on top of the door before toeing his shoes off, kicking them towards the space under the door. Keeping your hands around his neck, you both focus on each other's eyes as he presses your back against the wall again and slowly moves his hands along your sides until he reaches your ass, giving it a subtle squeeze. Your eyes widen when he extends a hand to the shower valve and turns it on, water coming down on both of you. Before you get a chance to protest, he gives you a kiss and mumbles something in your ear. "Just in case anyone walks by." You nod and he goes on to stroke his penis a few times while the water warms up. He then turns back to you and raises his brows. You nod and he pushes his dick inside you, checking in on your reaction to see if anything makes you uncomfortable. "Fuck, you feel even better this way," he groans and lifts your thighs so you can wrap your legs around his waist, pushing deeper into you until he bottoms out. He brings a hand up to get your damp hair out of your face and waits for you to give him the greenlight.

"You can move now," you tell him after a few seconds and he gives you a peck on the cheek before starting up his movements. He jostles your body against the wet tiles with each thrust, watching as you close your eyes and moan his name, arching your back when he would hit your sweet spot just right, streams of water trickling down your form. The sight of you open mouthed with your hair sticking to your skin, due to both sweat and the running shower has him in a daze.

"You're so fucking sexy," he says airily and you open your eyes to see his dark gaze sparkle with passion. He keeps his movements constant before just grinding his hips into you, releasing a couple of grunts here and there as you whimper over the delicious contact with your g spot. 

"Eren, I'm gonna-" you stutter with your words but he hushes you and holds out his hand to stimulate your clit.

"I know, beautiful. I can feel you." His voice is strained, but he's determined to not let himself go before you've ridden out your orgasm first. You throw your head on his shoulder and dig your nails into the back of his neck as you drown in pleasure, your eyesight hazy. 

"Sorry," you're barely able to spit the word out as you slowly come down from your high.

"Shit... don't apologize, it feels good," he reassures you and grits his teeth when you scratch at his skin again, encouraged by his words. You moan his name into his ear one more time and that does it for him. His hips start bucking erratically towards you but not even a second later, he swiftly puts you down and pulls out of you, only to squeeze your face with one hand, shoving his tongue roughly into your mouth, and pumping his cock with the other, his cum shooting down to the floor and washing down the drain. 

"Sorry." It's his turn to apologize as he softens his tight grip on your face and you shake your head to signal him you're okay. You both dedicate the next few minutes to even out your breathing. You've never had sex in a shower, but Eren certainly set a high bar for what you thought it needed to make you feel like. You turn off the shower and turn to him.

"You should get out of here. I still need to shower and Sasha's probably wondering what's taking me so long," you smile at him while scratching your temple. He nods and starts getting dressed, disregarding the fact that his skin hasn't dried off yet. He walks out of the stall and you stick your head out to watch him leave. Just as he's about to go out into the hall, he turns around, almost as he felt the way you were burning holes into his sculpted back and mouths _goodnight_. You give him a small wave in return and hastily go through with washing yourself. 

\---

When you walk out of the showers in your pajamas and your dirty clothes rolled up into a ball under your arm along with your toiletry bag, you jump at the sight of Eren leaning against the opposite wall, right beside the restrooms. 

"What are you still doing here?" you interrogate him, bewildered at how he's so at ease knowing he can get in trouble.

"I don't know, I just felt like waiting for you," he shrugs and tugs lightly at your top to admire the very visible love bite on your collarbone. You hadn't looked in the mirror yet, given that you rushed your shower time to avoid having Sasha ask you why you were so late but, from the look on Eren's face, you just knew you'd have to choose your outfits carefully for the next few days. "Nice, maybe I should give you hickeys more often."

You roll your eyes and open your mouth to reprimand him when you both become aware of the figure that's slowly rounding the corner, the tips of their ears red, having caught Eren's last sentence. Jean. He doesn't look at either of you directly but just stuffs his hands in the pocket of his hoodie and chews on his lip nervously.

Eren backs away from you and you immediately begin to panic, trying to come up with an excuse for his words. But all you can think about is that your beloved roommate can't find out about this. Not yet.

"Sasha doesn't-"

"Don't worry. I won't say anything." Jean finally looks at you. He looks hurt, his eyes are glassy and his nose twitches slightly before he clears his throat. He catches a small glimpse of your bruise and lowers his gaze again. He walks past you and goes into the restroom, not paying any recognition to Eren's presence. 

\---

When you get back to your room, everyone else is helping Sasha gather her things. Eren had left right after the incident with Jean, telling you everything was going to be fine. But it didn't feel fine. Not when Jean never returned from the restroom and Armin and Niccolo had left without him. You huff after throwing yourself on your bed. Something sticks out from the sheets, scratching the back of your neck and you flip over to see what it is. You're shocked as you lift the small foil packet with two fingers. 

"Oh my-, did Eren leave that here? He's so gross." Sasha realizes what you have before you get the chance to hide it.

"Yeah" you say nervously and try to laugh it off. She shakes her head and contorts her face in disgust.

"Ugh, he just loves to brag about his sex life, doesn't he? I'm gonna turn the lights off now, 'kay?" you nod and get under the covers after throwing the forgotten condom on your bedside table.

You feel uneasy that night, wondering if Jean would actually keep his promise. It's not that you didn't trust him, but just the thought of someone besides Eren and you knowing about the intimacy you shared was enough to keep your mind in a constant flow of overthinking. Somewhere along the way, though, you finally fall asleep. 

\---

Your constant dwelling was finally going to meet its end the following Sunday. Exams week was over and you had sent a text to Jean the night before, asking him to meet up at the local park at four if he wasn't too busy. You had tried calling him first, but he wouldn't pick up, so when you received a straightforward _k_ a few seconds after pressing send, you were thankful he wasn't just shutting you out, even if he was seeming a bit distant. The days were getting colder and as you sat on a lonely bench, watching the leaves rustle by your booted feet, you curse at yourself for not picking a different location. Just as you were whipping your phone out to check the time, you see Jean crossing the street to meet you. He's wearing a tan long coat and his nose is peeking above his navy blue scarf, hands in his pockets to keep them warm. When he's finally close enough to you, he pulls down his scarf to give you a small smile, the tip of his nose and his cheeks tinged pink from the cold. You smile back at him.

"Hey," you both say, your voices overlapping one another and you both laugh awkwardly.

"Sit down," you tell him softly, patting the empty spot next to you and he complies. You chew on the inside of your cheek, struggling with how to bring the topic of the other night up, even though you know Jean knows that's why you called for him.

"Eren and I've be-" "Please don't da-" you both speak at the same time and break off your sentences to allow the other to speak. Jean reddens and looks down at his lap.

"You first," he says.

"Okay, um... Eren and I have sort of been... having this thing," you fumble with your words. _Ridiculous. Why was it so difficult to say? Eren and I are fuck buddies. Period._

"Dating?" he asks without lifting his hazel toned gaze.

"Not exactly," you say, rubbing the back of your neck, a nervous habit you picked up from Eren. Jean turns to look at you with a bewildered expression, but his features soon shift when your words finally dawn on him. "It's consensual, of course. Don't- don't assume the worst."

"Oh," he mutters and hunches over in his seat, resting his elbows close to his knees and clasping his hands together. "That's- that's um... good for you, I guess." He turns his head to the side so you can't see his face.

"Thanks." you say, but it comes out more in the form of a question. _This is too awkward._

"So... about Sasha, why won't you tell her?" he finally looks at you over his shoulder but you avert your gaze, opting to focus on the empty bench a few feet in front of you.

"I'm going to tell her about it, just not yet. I know it's stupid and it's better for me to get it over with but, I don't want to make things awkward between our friend group. Besides, I don't even know how long this will last. Everyone knows Eren gets around, I guess I just don't want anybody to judge me or take pity on me when we cut it off. I'm not a noob to hookup culture either, but Eren has me beat."

"Well, for what it's worth, I don't think any of us would pity you as much as we would Eren. You're way too good for him." You chuckle softly at his attempt to console you. "Do you like him?" Jean's question catches you off guard and you stutter trying to give an honest response.

"I- I mea- of course I like Eren, he's... really nice and funny a-"

"You know what I mean" he cuts you off. You sigh.

"I don't know. I don't know if I like him that way. Sure, he's very... attractive and we get along, but I have to keep my feelings check. I'm pretty sure neither of us want this to get any more complicated than it already is. This is just a way for both of us to relieve stress." You sit in silence until Jean speaks up.

"Well, promise me you'll tell me if he does anything stupid. I'll pummel his ass into the ground." He straightens up in his seat and gives you a warm smile.

"Will do," you laugh.

Jean walks you back to campus, nudging you playfully with his elbow every few minutes and you do the same between friendly smiles.

"What were you going to say first by the way?" You look at him with curiosity as you near your destination.

"Uh... I forgot" he mumbles and even though his broken sentence keeps gnawing at you and you know he definitely remembers, you don't push any further.

When you're finally in the parking lot of your dorm building, his mood shifts and he only offers a shadow of a smile when you bring your palm up to say goodbye. As you're about to take a step forward to the glass doors, Jean grabs hold of your wrist to stop you. You turn and look at him questioningly.

"Um... just- don't worry if you feel like I'm being cold towards you for a while. I just-" he takes a deep breath and swallows his saliva, unsure of where to lay eyes on. "I need to process you and Eren doing... that." He bites his lip and fixes his gaze on you. "What I told you about kicking his ass still stands, though. Call for me and I'll be wherever you need me to... whenever." You nod slowly, a spark running through your spine and a slight compression in your chest at his serious tone, and he lets go of your wrist, watching your figure as you enter the lobby and disappear up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to give y'all just a sprinkle of drama ;) Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> I've received nothing but kind words for this fic and I'm very grateful for your love and encouragement. If there is anything you think I can do to make this story more enjoyable (as long as you don't plan out the storyline for me, as I've already decided where it's going), please let me know!


	6. care for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized I forgot to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day last weekend but I hope you all had a good day. Also, I apologize for any confusion, I just changed the name of this fic.
> 
> I gave Eren and Zeke a six year age difference which is smaller than canon, please don't beat me up over it :/ 
> 
> TW: Eren's family backstory is in this one. Nothing graphic but if mentions of death make you uncomfortable, skip whatever is in between ( ** _***_** ).

Two and a half months have passed since you and Eren had agreed to be each other's booty call. After clearing things up with Jean, the encounters had become more frequent. Of course, they were mostly in Eren's bedroom at the frat house, only going to yours whenever Sasha would take her turn to spend the night there with Niccolo, and Eren would make sure to leave soon after. Even though Jean was well aware of the situation, none of the others knew anything yet, so at the end of the day, you would still tiptoe around the halls of the frat house, doing your best to avoid coming across anyone you knew. Every now and then, the whole friend group would get together and, needless to say, you and Eren would sometimes sneak off for a quickie in the bathrooms, your dorms, even in a dark alley one time when you all had gone out to spend a day in the city. If the circumstances allowed it, you would both lay down and chat as you normally did before going on with your daily lives, but without exception, every encounter would always end with Eren basking in your post-sex appearance, like he would get one last orgasm out of seeing how he left you heaving and satisfied. All while leaving Jean to cover up your tracks in case anyone got suspicious. You tried your best not to rely on his discretion too much, though. Whenever you happened to be in the same room as them, Jean would always avoid acknowledging Eren and would only talk to you, despite the unspoken tension that lingered between you. 

You twirl your pen between your fingers, boredom consuming you as you stared at the blinking cursor at the top of the blank word document on your laptop. You had been putting off this paper for a few days now. It's not like you didn't know what to write, you were just too lazy to actually type it out. The third yawn in the past ten minutes surfaces just as Sasha walks in. 

"Still struggling on that paper I see," she chuckles. "Have you even moved since I left for class an hour ago?" You purse your lips and shake your head lazily.

"Well then get up. We're going out for dinner." She squeezes your shoulders and leans over to shut down your laptop.

"But my paper-" you barely protest. "Yeah, I don't think you would actually get anything done either way," Sasha laughs. You get up from your desk chair and stretch every limb.

"Where to?" you ask, knowing she's right.

"Um, we were thinking Chinese."

"We?" you groan. You felt too sluggish to have to deal with people tonight.

"Yeah. We're going out with the boys. Except for Eren, though. He bailed last minute."

"Why?" It was odd for Eren to pass on your get togethers.

"Armin said he wasn't feeling well this morning and he went to stay at Zeke's," she explains.

"Oh, that's too bad." Sasha shrugs and you both get ready to go out, but the thought of Eren hurting and alone keeps circling your head. "Crap, you know what? I actually forgot I have to sign into a discussion board before seven," you say, hoping Sasha hears the disappointment in your voice you're trying to convey.

"Aww, do you want me to wait for you? I can text Niccolo and say we'll be a little late."

"No, no, you can go ahead. I'll stay." Sasha looks unsure about leaving you alone, especially since it's for homework and just a few minutes ago you were ready to abandon your responsibilities. She doesn't question your excuse, though.

"Okay... I'll bring you something back, just text me what you want, 'kay?"

"Yeah, thanks." You smile at her gratefully and she waves at you before stepping out.

You walk over to the window to look out at the parking lot to make sure Sasha leaves, before typing Eren's address into the Uber app, grabbing a jacket and rushing out the door. 

\---

After a fifteen minute trip, you get out of the car and walk up the stairs that lead to Eren's front door. As you're about to ring the doorbell, you start to second guess yourself and wonder if this is going too far. Then you roll your eyes at your own forgetfulness, reminding yourself that sex aside, you and Eren are friends. You reach your hand to the doorbell but take a step back when the door swings open, an equally startled Zeke standing in front of you. It takes him a few seconds to recognize your face and he calls out your name in confusion.

"Hello," you greet him shyly. "I uh, I heard Eren wasn't feeling well, so I thought I would stop by" you explain and he smiles at you.

"Yeah, he's been running a fever since this morning. The doctor said it's just exhaustion. I was on my way to the pharmacy," he informs you and you nod, unsure of how to ask for permission to see him, but he gives you a knowing look and opens the door wider. "Come in. He's up in his room." You thank him quietly and make your way to the stairs, hearing Zeke head out and lock the door behind you.

You feel unexpectedly nervous as you find yourself in front of Eren's door. You take a deep breath and knock. Eren groans from the other side and you chuckle to yourself when you hear his muffled voice complain. 

"Zeke, I'm fine, just leave me alone."

"Eren, it's me." You hear him shuffle around the room and seconds later, the door is opened and Eren is looking at you with wide eyes, his hair messily tied in a ponytail and his cheeks flushed. 

"Hi," he says breathlessly and you beam up at him.

"Hi," you say back and he mirrors your smile.

"Come in." He takes hold of your hand, pulls you inside his room and locks the door. You wander over to the center of the room, looking around as you go. Eren laughs lightly. "You've been here before, you know?"

"Yeah well, last time I was here I didn't really get the chance to look around." You cock your eyebrow and tilt your head at him. He smiles softly at you and rolls his eyes. He walks slowly to you and hugs you, his hands wrapped tightly around your waist and his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck. He inhales deeply, taking in the scent of your perfume mixed with your natural aroma.

"I'm glad you're here." His face feels very hot and his warm breath tickles your skin. You feel yourself heat up, and not just because his words and embrace made your heart skip a beat.

"You need to take a shower," you tell him. He looks up at you and scrunches his face. You giggle and gently peel his arms off your body. "You're really hot." He raises an eyebrow and his cocky demeanor starts surfacing. You pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance and shake your head. "I meant you need to get your body temperature back to normal." You start to push him towards his bathroom, ignoring his protests. Even as you're about to shut the door, he turns to look at you with puppy dog eyes and an exaggerated pout. 

"Promise you'll still be here when I get out?" "I promise." Happiness is spread across his features at your response and he locks the door himself. Soon enough, you hear the shower start to run and you take the time to explore Eren's bedroom. Against the wall with the door that leads to the hall is his dresser and a full body mirror. There's a TV mounted on the wall adjacent to that one, right above a lone shelf with a videogame console, between two windows that go from the ceiling down to the floor, covered by royal blue curtains. The next wall just has the door of his bathroom and a few bookshelves with no more than ten books added between them. Lined against the last wall is his bed and a bedside table with a digital clock, a plain desk and chair a few feet to the right. In between the foot of the bed and the TV is a loveseat sofa and a small glass coffee table. There aren't many things to see aside from his furniture. Heck, the room at the frat house seems a lot more homey. There aren't any posters from his favorite movies or bands, no knickknacks, nothing that could make this room known to be Eren's. The only personal item is a single picture frame on his desk. You walk over and pick it up. It's a family picture. Eren's parents are standing behind him and Zeke, each one with a hand placed on either child's shoulder. Eren seems to be about five years old, a big grin on his face. You let out an airy giggle upon noticing one of his front teeth is missing. You look at his parents and gaze in awe at the resemblance between Eren and his mother, the only difference being her eye color is a light brown instead of the intense emerald green Eren has. You're so engrossed in the picture that you don't notice Eren stepping out of the bathroom and walking over to you, until you feel him pressed against your back, his head resting on your shoulder. You flinch and turn your head. His hair is damp and he doesn't feel as hot as he did when you first came in contact with him. _At least the shower helped._

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be nosy," you apologize and return the picture to its original place.

"It's okay, I don't mind." The corners of his mouth tug up in a sad smile but he doesn't look at you. You turn around to face him completely. His hair is sticking to the sides of his face and neck and his lower half is wrapped in a towel, his torso bare.

"Do you want me to search for some clothes for you?" you ask. He smiles and shakes his head.

"I got it." He walks over to his dresser, pulls out a pair of boxers and slips them on underneath the towel. You take a seat on his bed and watch him as he gets dressed in a plain white tee and a pair of grey sweats before walking back and throwing himself next to you, pulling you down so you both lay facing each other on his bed. A few seconds go by before you try to speak.

"You uh... You look a lot like your mom," your voice comes out a bit shaky and he pulls you in closer by the waist. 

"I've been told," he says, smiling crookedly. You both stare at each other in silence and you try to come up with some form of small talk but his voice interrupts your thoughts. 

**_***_ **

"They both died in a car accident when I was twelve."

"You don't-"

"I want to," his voice is serious. You nod.

"Shit, now I don't even know where to start," he admits, scratching his forehead. "I uh... I grew up here in Shiganshina with my parents and Zeke, you met him last time you were here. My dad was a doctor and my mom stayed at home to care for us. I don't have any memories of us ever fighting or arguing, we were all really close." He takes a few deep breaths and you place your hand on his arm for comfort. "I remember it was Friday, the day of the accident. My dad had to travel for work and ended up taking my mom with him. Hannes, a friend of my mom, was going to stay with us for the weekend while they were away. I... I didn't find out until I got home from school. Even then, all I knew was something bad had happened from the way Hannes looked at me. Like I couldn't handle the truth... like- like I needed to be shielded from everything and anything. I fucking hated that look." Eren's expression reflects disgust and you recall what Sasha told you the night of the Yeager house party. 

_Don't look so sad about it. Eren doesn't like to feel pitied by people._

Still, you stroke his arm with your thumb. Eren doesn't seem to mind the gesture, the corners of his lips tugging into a subtle smile.

"They crashed at an intersection with a trailer, the other driver had fallen asleep behind the wheel. An ambulance had been called, but by the time it got there my parents were already dead. The other driver was rushed to the hospital but he died on the way from a head injury." He sighs heavily and closes his eyes for a few seconds to regain his composure. "Zeke had gotten home before I did, but he didn't say anything to me, just stared at the floor all the time. Our grandparents...from my dad's side, they took us in. They're from Marley, but Hannes had called them after the police had told him the news and they were there the next day. They stayed in our house and let us finish the school year in Shiganshina but ultimately decided to move us all to Marley. They put Zeke through college and me through the rest of junior high. Zeke and I had started growing apart since the accident. He didn't want to talk to me, we would even sometimes go a few days without seeing each other. He even beat the crap out of me once because I wouldn't leave him alone." He laughs humorlessly. "But then, when he graduated from college, he told my grandparents he was moving out and he wanted to take me with him back to Shiganshina. I'd just finished... what was it? Sophomore year? Yeah, so I was sixteen. My grandpa didn't want to let me go with Zeke at first, but he came around, and so we moved back and I met Sasha and the others at my new school. Things seemed to be getting better for me except for my relationship with Zeke. We still wouldn't talk much until I asked him why one day. He told me that losing his second mother was too painful, especially when I looked just like her." You furrow your brow in confusion.

"Wait, you guys don't-"

"No." He chews on his lip nervously. "He and I have the same father but his biological mother passed when he was younger, I think he was around three. A couple of years passed before my dad remarried and then, almost a year later, my mom had me. She loved us both the same, though. The day of the party..." he hesitates, as if debating whether or not to finish his sentence. "It was actually the anniversary of their death." 

**_***_ **

You blink in surprise, not understanding why Eren would throw a party at his house on that day.

"Zeke wanted me to go with him to visit their graves, but I didn't want to and he didn't say anything, he just left without me... For fuck's sake, I fucking hate that he's like that. He never gives me shit about anything!" Eren's voice slowly starts to raise, his angry demeanor brewing. "It just feels like he doesn't say anything so he won't upset me. As if letting me have my way is going to make him the best big brother in my eyes. I understand if he feels like he needs to make up for shutting me out when we were younger, but he could at least try to act like an older brother and fight me or yell at me!" Eren's breathing is irregular. "He just- he's too fucking considerate. I don't want to be able to do anything I want, I want him to care." The volume of his voice has gone down to a whisper. 

You don't really know what to say at this point. Eren starts blinking rapidly and he pulls his back off the bed. You follow his lead and you both just sit there. That is until Eren suddenly exhales and starts sobbing. He immediately reaches at you for an embrace, hooking his arms under yours and clutching at the back of your jacket. You wrap your arms around his trembling body. The sound of him crying almost pushes you to do so as well, but you refuse to allow it, you need to offer him stability and comfort. So you bring a hand to gently stroke the back of his head, his longs strands of hair tangled around your fingers. From the crook of your neck, you hear his strained voice come out. 

"That feels nice... Keep doing that." And you do. You stay in that position and repeat your movements until he calms down and lets you go. When you see his face again, his eyes puffy and red and the subtle sheen of his cheeks, it becomes clear to you. You want to care for Eren, not out of pity, not because his usual cocky persona seems so vulnerable right now, not because you feel responsible for what his brother does or doesn't do for him, but because he's a lot more important to you than you can allow yourself to admit. 

Eren brushes the wetness of his face with the back of his hand and gives you a smile to let you know he's okay now. He pats his chest once and gets up from the bed in an instant, brow furrowed.

"Crap, where's my necklace?" He heads to his bathroom and comes out with the possession in hand. As he pulls it over his head he throws a grin your way. 

"It's from my dad. He gave it to me when I was ten. I spent about a year begging him for a treehouse and then when I got back from spending a weekend at my grandparent's house, he just gave me this key. My mom would take it away and hide it whenever I didn't want to do my homework." He laughs softly, shaking his head. "I don't really have any use for it now, but it's still pretty fucking neat, right?" You chuckle and nod at his last comment, glad that he seems more calm now. 

You spend a couple of hours talking about whatever and Eren ends up pulling out a photo album from his bookshelf to show you some baby pictures. You laugh at some and you tease him about others, but your fun is interrupted when your phone vibrates in the back pocket of your jeans. You frown slightly but start typing a response.

"Is something wrong?" Eren raises his eyebrows at you.

"No, it's just Sasha, she wants to know what I want for dinner," you tell him as you put away your phone. "I have to go, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you can come over anytime you want and finish looking." His contagious smile takes over your face.

"I'll think about it," you tease him and start walking to his door, him at your heel. "Bye, Eren. Make sure to rest, okay?" You give him one last hug, letting him be the first one to let go. You jog lightly down the stairs as you call for an Uber, but a voice calling your name from the kitchen threshold stops you when you're a few feet from the front door.

"How's he doing?"

"His fever's gone down, I'd say he's doing a lot better," you say as you turn to face Zeke.

"Do you need a ride back to your dorm?"

"It's okay, my Uber's just around the corner," you explain to him, lifting your phone screen in his direction.

"Well uh... Thanks for coming to see him. I'm sure he really appreciates it," he nervously states.

"You should yell at him more," you say bluntly. 

"Pardon?" Zeke is clearly confused at your out of the blue comment.

"Eren. Siblings are supposed to fight and tease and _talk_. He's your younger brother, treat him like one." Zeke seems a bit taken aback by your words, but nonetheless gives you a satisfactory reply.

"I'll go yell at him right now for getting sick," he says with a determined stance.

"I'm sure he would love that." The last thing you see before closing the front door behind you is Zeke going up the stairs to see Eren. You smile to yourself as you walk out into the night.

\---

By the time Sasha gets back to the dorm, plastic bag with the logo of your favorite Chinese restaurant in hand, you had already gotten there thirty minutes prior and were typing away on your computer, finally attending that neglected assignment. 

"Table, please," she orders as she walks in, fumbling to kick off her shoes and shrug off her jacket. You shut your laptop and clear the small table placed against the wall of the door, taking off the small microwave and plastic container full of snacks and stacking them on top of the mini fridge. You carry the table and set it down between your beds. Sasha sets the bag down and takes out an aluminum tray with your food, stir fried noodles with chicken and veggies. You walk over to get a drink from the fridge and you give her a confused expression when she takes out a second tray from the bag. 

"I'm not going to able to eat all that," you tell her, overwhelmed by all the food.

"Yeah, it's for me," she giggles. "I felt bad for leaving you behind, so I didn't eat too much with the boys and bought an extra serving to finish dinner with you." She beams at you and you reciprocate. You return to the fridge to get a drink for her as well while she finishes setting everything up and you both sit down to eat. 

Even though you try really hard not to, your thoughts keep wandering to Eren. You can feel your chest tighten upon thinking back to everything he revealed to you. Naturally, your body recreates the sensations you felt while laying with him on his bed and while giving him your shoulder to cry on, making you wonder if he's ever felt the same need to care for you in the same way you wanted to do for him. Sure, he was your friend and he obviously cared about what happens to you to a certain extent, but the way you felt just seemed a bit different. 

"What do you think about Eren?"

"Huh?" Sasha shifts her concentration from her food to look at you, her facial features scrunched up, partly due to confusion, partly due to the fact that her mouth is so full. "I have a boyfriend and...you... _know_ him? I don't understand your question," she says in between chews.

"No, I mean like what he's like with girls and stuff," you specify.

If you were trying to be casual about the topic, Sasha read right through you, her position frozen and her right eyebrow arched before slowly breaking into a mischievous grin. She swallows her food before speaking.

"Do you... _like_ Eren or something? Because if that's the case, what the hell am I missing here? I thought you would tell me if something like that happened." 

It hits you that you weren't being as discreet as you thought, but you refused to give in. There's also a pang of guilt in your chest from being reminded that you've yet to tell Sasha what's been going on these past couple of months with him.

"What? No, I'm just trying to make conversation," you tell her in what you intended to be a calm manner. Still, the subtle quiver in your lip and rapid blinking, plus the inability to look Sasha in the eye were most likely a dead giveaway in response to her query. Sasha purses her lips and raises her eyebrows while she resumes her attention on her second dinner. A few minutes go by in silence and you move the noodles around in your tray with your fork, but can't bring yourself to actually take any to your mouth, your head completely lost in the clouds. Sasha sighs and puts her now empty tray down on the table and slaps her hands against her thighs. 

"He's a good guy," she starts, calling your name to gain your attention. "Yeah, he sleeps around a lot, but you already knew that. Besides, it's not like he enjoys toying around with girls feelings, they all know what they're doing when they meet up with him." She pauses to see if her words managed to give you whatever it is that you needed. You're staring off into the distance, your mind still in a state of uneasiness. "I was just joking around earlier about you liking him but... do you?" You scoff.

"Don't be ridiculous," you reply and start to shove forkfuls of noodles and veggies into your mouth, but the question lingers in your mind for the next few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut for this week lol but perhaps... for the next? Or not *Cardi B laugh*
> 
> ALSO!! I made a [tumblr](https://emepe-fics.tumblr.com/), you are all welcome to join, as long as you follow what I've stated in my rules. I'll be posting my works on there, too, but now we can chat and you can view any updates on my writing and future projects, as well as send me any prompts or requests or give your input on what you would like me to write next :)


	7. easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everybody! I can't thank you all enough for being so supportive through every bit of this fic so far. Very proud of this chapter, I'm giving myself a pat on the back. Also, we're over halfway through the story :') 
> 
> Happy reading!

Eren Yeager. That's it, that's all there is to think about, apparently. Your brain couldn't manage with diverting from the topic of him, his name, the way he'd say yours, his enticing aura, the little glint in his eyes whenever he talked about something he liked or something he remembered and wanted to share with you. It was like a film from the past three months playing on loop in your head. You had gotten to know a lot more about him in these past weeks than you'd been able to do the entire year before that when you'd first met through Sasha. You mindlessly bite down on your thumb as you pay no mind to the actual movie playing in front of you on your laptop. It was Sunday night and for once, you didn't have anything to do, not that having a pile of assignments to work on would've been able to pull you away from your conflicted mind. 

Sasha had left with an overnight bag and her regular schoolbag about fifteen minutes ago to spend the night with Niccolo at the frat house. When you told her she could just stop by for her books first thing in the morning, she just laughed and shook her head, saying she wanted to spend as much time with Niccolo as possible. You were happy for Sasha and her loving relationship with Niccolo, you really were, but that shred of jealousy was really worming it's way in since you came to realize your own romantic feelings for Eren. A soft knock on the door makes you shift your attention from the space bar on your keyboard and you set your computer aside on your bed to get up and answer. You didn't expect it to be Eren, you weren't sure if you _wanted_ it to be Eren due to the whirlwind of emotions you had to sort out. Yet there he is in all his glory, black oversized hoodie and light wash denim jeans, hair swept by the wind and an orange notebook tucked under his arm. _Why does he look so damn good?_

"Hi," he breathes, an endearing side smile on his face.

"Hi," you smile back at him, you can't help it, he's just too cute. 

"Is Sasha here?" _Wait, what?_ You feel a bit disappointed to hear him ask for your roommate, his reason for stopping by not being you. The confusion must've been evident on your face because Eren starts to explain. "I uh- she lent me her notes for this ethics class we're taking together since I missed school the other day, so I'm just here to give them back." _Oh._

"Oh yeah, how are you feeling?" You lean against the doorway.

"A lot better, actually. I just needed to rest for a bit," he nods and his grin grows wider.

"Good, I'm glad... Uh, Sasha isn't here right now, she actually left for the frat house about twenty minutes ago." 

"Really? Crap... I should've called to let her know I was coming. Guess I should probably head back then." He purses his lips and begins to turn around. _Please don't._ "See you around."

You knew it went against your better judgement, you needed to distance yourself from Eren, at least until that bubbly feeling in your chest would dissipate. Still, you reach out and tug at his sleeve to stop him. He turns around to give you a look that's a mix between confusion and worry. 

"Stay for a bit." You're not sure what expression you're wearing but Eren's features soften at the sight and he smiles as you let him in. He slips out of his sneakers, leaving Sasha's notebook on top of the mini fridge and you guide him over to sit on your bed where you extend your legs in front of you and pick up your laptop. Eren settles by sitting on the side of the bed with his body facing you. "Uh, I was watching a movie before you came, but you can pick a new one or we can do something else." Your voice is shaky and Eren frowns.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asks sweetly, leaning in and patting your head gently. 

"Yeah, I just..." you drift off and he raises his eyebrows as if encouraging you to continue. You're at a loss for words. His cautious and worried demeanor pulls at your heartstrings.

"I just... Would you... kiss me... please?" Needless to say, you felt ridiculous for asking him to do so, especially when engaging in intimacy would do the complete opposite of what you needed and rile up your feelings even more. Thankfully, Eren doesn't seem to mind your request or question why you were suddenly voicing what you wanted so shyly. He tilts his head and smiles before he leans in closer and brushes your nose with his. Your eyes flutter closed and you wait for his lips to come in contact, his warm breath fanning across your face and his signature citrus and woodsy scent relaxing your senses. When he finally takes your face in his hands and closes the distance between your mouths, you breathe a sigh of relief. You slowly shut your laptop and place it on your bedside table as he continues to kiss you, his pace gradually becoming more urgent. You slide down the headboard and Eren shifts his body so that he hovers over you with a knee between your thighs. You tug at the bottom of his hoodie, gesturing for him to take it off and he breaks the kiss to follow your order and undoes the buttons of your pajama top. You prop yourself up a bit to help him glide it off your shoulders and he throws both garments over his back. He's not wearing a shirt underneath and you're not wearing a bra, and you're grateful, letting your hands roam over his warm back as your chests press together. He purposely brushes his knee over your clothed sex, the friction making you whimper.

"Touch me," you beg him, your words coming out with more air than voice as your breathing starts to gain irregularity. He hums against your neck and pulls back on his knees to undo the string of your pajama shorts, pulling them off your legs gently, leaving you in your underwear. Had you known you'd be seeing him today, you would've worn something a bit more sexy than the plain baby pink cotton panties you were currently sporting. He doesn't mind, coming back to meet your lips as he cups your vulva with a soft touch and you squirm in annoyance at the extra layer between you and his hand. 

He begins tracing stripes with his fingers, applying pressure whenever he'd reach the spot where you're clit would be. Soon, he switches to rubbing tight circles in that same area and although normally, you'd enjoy him taking his sweet time with you, a certain neediness was forming in the pit of your lower abdomen.

"Fingers... please," you mutter against his lips. He sucks your bottom lip, making you grant him access to the insides of your mouth as he slips his hand inside your underwear and does his usual routine, collecting your juices with two fingers and sliding them inside you. Your moans are drowned out by his mouth while his fingers push and curl inside you, his thumb fulfilling it's usual task to stimulate your clit. It's not long before you're arching your back, toes curling and you bite down on his lip a little too harshly, causing him to whine and whisper a series of husky _fuck_ s.

As you come down from your high, you open your eyes and see a bruise starting to form along his bottom lip, his eyes glistening in ecstasy.

"Crap, I'm sorry," you whisper, taking his chin in between your thumb and index.

"'S okay, I liked it," he slowly breaks into a smirk. "Don't be surprised when I bite back twice as hard, though," he taunts. Your face heats up in embarrassment and you cover your eyes with your forearm, making him laugh. "Wanna keep going?" You nod and feel him shuffle around to remove his bottoms and lean over to your bedside table to retrieve a condom from the drawer. When you recover from your embarrassment, you finally take a peek to see him finish rolling the condom onto his penis. He's quick to go back to you, taking his cock in one hand to align himself before you. His tip barely grazes you, but you're overly sensitive right now and you whimper as you ask him to penetrate you already. He gives you a side smile and teases you with the tip of his penis a few times before he slowly enters you, watching your reaction closely, peppering a few kisses on your cheeks. He was always attentive like that, not wanting to hurt you on accident. He swallows thick when he enters you fully, thanks to your legs being bent at the knees and spread apart to give him more than enough space to bottom out. The combination of his thrusts, the stimulation of your clit, his strained voice moaning out your name whenever his mouth isn't indulging in the taste of your breasts, and the little voice reminding you of your true desires has you dizzy.

"Eren, more... more," you chant the last word softly as he works his tongue across your chest. He takes your words as a plea for him to quicken his thrusts, and you don't mind that interpretation either, but the secret meaning you're aware that every _more_ that escapes your lips has, brings you to smile with bitterness at the ceiling. 

_Even if it's only like this, you want to have him. If you confess your feelings, you know you won't be able to touch him this way again._

Eren's mouth travels up your neck, lightly sucking on your skin and whines into your ear when you arch your back and your legs start spasming around him. He wraps an arm around your waist, stroking and grabbing at your skin, and you prop yourself up on one elbow latch onto his neck with your other arm and pull him even closer to you, moaning his name in his ear. Three forbidden words are dangerously edging on your tongue, but instead you keep repeating his name as you both simultaneously drown in your orgasms. Eren crumbles into the bed right beside you without pulling out and pulls you into a kiss, his warm tongue tangling with your own. The kiss gradually becomes more tame and by the end, he just offers you soft pecks on your lips and nose. 

"You okay?"

"Mhm." 

He carefully pulls out of you and stands to dispose of the condom. You slowly bring yourself to your feet and get your night robe from the closet to walk out to the bathroom, catching a glimpse of Eren gathering his clothes from the floor on your way out. When you come back, the room is empty and the only trace of him ever being there is the notebook he left for Sasha. You sigh and start to switch the comforter of your bed in exchange for a blanket you grab from the top shelf of your closet, when the door to your room opens and Eren walks in.

"I thought you left already," you blurt out in surprise. 

"Just went to the bathroom. Can't really walk around naked in the halls," he chuckles softly and you join him. "If you still wanna watch a movie... we can... you know, do that," he stammers, but you give him a reassuring grin and nod. You hurry to finish fixing your bed and change back into your pajamas. You both settle down on your bed, legs stretched out and backs against the headboard with the laptop nestled in between. Eren picks a random title and you both stare at the screen as the movie starts. You finally start to feel comfortable with him again, already forgetting about the dilemma you were circling just minutes before he arrived. 

"Hey, uh... thanks for whatever it is you said to Zeke the other night." You look over at him but his gaze is fixed on the battle scenes playing on the screen. 

"Sure, no problem," you whisper.

"I mean, I was shocked when he came in yelling at first, but he broke character just a few seconds in," he stifles a laugh. "We ended up laughing about it for a bit."

"Did you guys talk then?"

"Yeah, he said that when you asked him to yell at me he remembered the time I got home drunk off my ass and said the same thing."

"So I did good?" you smile at him proudly and he finally turns to look at you with a smirk.

"I mean, it's not like I never tried to talk to him about it before," he says, poking your cheek in a teasing manner. "He just always brushed me off whenever I told him he was too forgiving with me. I guess it really did make a difference that someone outside of us told him there really is a problem. It's going to take some time to work things out completely, but it's a start. So, yeah, you did good."

"Well, that's... good."

You both focus back on the movie and Eren ends up shifting down underneath the blanket and rests his head on your shoulder. The action gives you butterflies and you bring your hand up to pat his head. The movie ends and as the credits begin to roll up the screen, Eren talks again.

"You know what I like about you?" You don't trust your voice to come out steady to answer his question so you just hum in response. 

"Everything is really fucking easy," he lifts his head quickly and tilts it to the side, as if processing his own words. "Wait, that came out wrong," he shakes his head, embarrassed. "What I mean is you're really easy to talk to and you're really fun to be with, I just... I feel like we've gotten a lot closer..." You're held captive by his eyes, blood rushing to your cheeks. His face is so close, you can feel the warmth radiating from his skin. "I really like having you around," he finishes with a whisper. His statement isn't exactly ambiguous, but dozens of possible hidden meanings cloud your thoughts. _That is, if there even is one_ , you think. 

"Do you want to stay the night?" you murmur.

"What about Sasha?" His gaze flickers between your lips and your eyes and you unconsciously do the same for him. A small smile finds its way on your face and you shake your head lightly.

"She's not coming back until tomorrow afternoon."

"That's really lucky." You both release hushed chuckles. "Just so you know I sleep in my underwear and nothing more." His cocky demeanor surfaces for the first time tonight and you playfully punch him in the arm.

"Well I kick in my sleep, so it's safer for you to stay in Sasha's bed," you tease him back and crawl over to the end of your bed to place your laptop on your desk.

"Fine by me. I'm not gonna be the one begging the other to keep them warm," he jeers, nodding at the blanket you're stuck with for this cold night, as he stands and undresses before throwing himself on poor Sasha's bed. 

"And who's fault is this?" you accuse, balling a corner of the blanket in your hand.

"Well, very easily yours. You're the one who's been giving me orders since I got here. I just wanted to be a nice guy," he retaliates. You scoff at his comeback but cover yourself with your blanket and turn to face the wall, shielding your guilty expression. 

"Goodnight, asshole," you mumble.

"Goodnight, beautiful," he sings, clearly still in the mood to poke fun at you. You groan and throw one of your pillows across the room to his smug face. You turn back towards the wall, but smile upon hearing him laugh at your lack of a proper rebuttal.

You stay in silence for a few minutes and you begin to think maybe Eren has already fallen asleep. That is, until you feel the mattress sink behind you and the blanket being lifted. A strong arm wraps around your waist, hand slipping under your top to stroke your skin with their thumb. You call his name but he shushes you. He lifts his head to give your shoulder a kiss and whispers in your ear.

"Just go to sleep." 

Maybe it's just you, but this time with Eren feels different, sleepover proposal aside. 

\---

The tickling in your nose for the fourth time is what wakes you up. You force yourself to peep at the cause of your awakening with one eye and find Eren grinning with his fingers pointing a strand of his hair towards your face.

"Morning, pretty lady." You contort your face in disgust and reach over his shoulder to grab your phone from the bedside table. It's 7:30 a.m., not the ideal time to wake up, considering you stayed up late last night and you don't have any classes until noon. 

You slump back onto the mattress but before you can even begin to rekindle your slumber, Eren's fingers start to graze your face, tracing your side profile. You can't keep yourself from smiling, no matter how hard you try to seem annoyed.

"Eren, _stop_ , you're so annoying," you whine, but it comes out more as a giggle.

Eren laughs before positioning himself over you, his knees keeping him steady on either side of your hips. He begins to kiss your neck, gently nipping at the skin. 

"Come on, wake up." His tone is playful and you can just imagine his childish expression. 

"I don't even have anywhere to be," you grumble, letting out a soft moan at the end.

"You're so lazy," he complains, but he doesn't miss the way you gently lift your chest towards him and suck on your lip. "Let's go out for breakfast. I'm hungry... and bored."

"Don't care."

"Will you get breakfast with me if I can convince you to get up?"

"I think getting me out of bed would be reward enough, but you can go ahead try. I'm not moving," you reply, smiling at his juvenile idea.

You contradict yourself a second later, because Eren accepts the challenge and becomes more persistent with the way he sucks the skin along your neck and you grasp at his hair, trying to get him impossibly closer. 

"You like that?" You just breathe out an _uh huh_ and throw your head back, giving him more room to move. "Can I unbutton your shirt?" You repeat your previous confirmation and he follows up with kneading one breast with his hand and sucking at the nipple of the other, lightly tugging at it with his teeth. You whimper his name, your lewd tone making him groan into the valley of your breasts. He suddenly stops and pulls away. He stares at you and slowly breaks into a smile, letting out an airy chuckle.

"What?" You furrow your brows and tilt your head, your eyes finally open and your mind being free of your morning haze.

"Did you know you snore?" He looks back up with an amused expression.

"I do not."

"Oh, yeah. You talk in your sleep, too." He bites his lip and a blush creeps up on his cheeks. His reaction seems too genuine for you to think he's lying.

"What did I say?"

"Not much, kept repeating my name, though." _Well, that's embarrassing_. You try to smother your face into your pillow, as if that would hide the fact that you feel unsettled.

"I don't mind, I just didn't think I was in your head twenty four - seven." _He's having a field day with this._ You silently thank the universe that he's too childish to think much about what that could possibly mean. You finally focus your gaze on him again and take note of the redness of his face that has only intensified since the few seconds ago when you saw it forming. His eyes are gleaming as they bore into yours, his boyish smile infecting you with your own sense of amusement.

You're both so deep in this intimate moment of morning bliss that neither of you notice the doorknob jiggling. Sasha barges through the door, announcing her arrival to you.

"I just had the best n-"

You let out a small shriek and Eren falters from his position but instinctively pulls the blanket over your bare chest. Sasha remains frozen in her position at the entrance with the door, her mouth and eyes wide open. You're so shocked and panicked that you completely dismiss the possibility of anyone walking down the hall and catching sight of this particular compromising scene. You screw your eyes shut, expecting the worst, but it never comes.

"I'm not going to pretend like I didn't just see this, because the image is now permanently scarred into my brain, thank you very much for that. I _am_ going to walk out and give you guys a minute to put some clothes on, though. Knock when you're finished, please." You would laugh at the authoritative tone Sasha used if you weren't so apprehensive about the conversation awaiting you.

You facepalm yourself and groan as soon as she steps out into the hall, shutting the door behind her. Eren turns to look at you with worry. 

"Are you okay? I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have stayed over," he stammers.

"No, it's my fault. I should've told her about this sooner. At least she would've been prepared," you say rubbing your temples.

You both get out from under the blanket and hurriedly get dressed, an awkward tension filling the room to the brim.

"Call me if you need anything, okay?" he says, kissing your forehead before opening the door to reveal a blank faced Sasha sitting on the ground against the wall. She didn't mean for it, but Eren shrinks under her gaze and makes his way out of the building. You chew the inside of your cheek, trailing behind her as she walks in and sits on her bed. You stay on your feet, fiddling with your fingers, suddenly feeling out of place in your own dorm.

"I thought you were heading straight to class from the frat house," you murmur. Sasha gives you a weird look but gives into your tragic attempt of swaying the conversation from the elephant in the room.

"Yeah, but last night when I got there, I was going to knock on Eren's door to ask him for a notebook I let him borrow and Niccolo told me he had gone out to return it... Said he didn't even hear him tell him I was going over there anyway, he just rushed out the door..." She purses her lips and looks at you through her lashes. "It's my first class this morning and I figured you would've received it for me, so I just came back a bit early."

"I'm really sorry you had to find out like this. I know you're mad at me, but I promise I was going to tell you." The words just seem to pour out of your mouth but Sasha interrupts your monologue.

"I'm not mad. I already knew. Geez, at least he could've left early before I caught ya, I didn't think he'd still be here," she says. You look at her with a shocked expression.

"Oh, come _on_ , don't look at me like that," she laughs. "Did you really think I wouldn't notice how often you two would disappear together? Or how you barely brush off his advances anymore? And then there's that talk we had the other day about how he treats other girls. I was kind of hoping you would confess it to me then, but I didn't want to pressure you if you weren't sure about it yourself, so I tried to play it cool. I may act like it sometimes, but I'm not stupid, you know?" She sighs. "Also... Jean might've slipped up and told me a couple of weeks ago. Everything seemed a lot more obvious afterwards." She gives you an awkward smile. You roll your eyes and make a mental note to beat Jean's ass next time you saw him. 

"So..." Sasha drags out the word, breaking into a big, teasing grin. "Are you gonna tell me how this even come to be? I wanna know the details!"

You smile in relief, glad that you can finally talk about everything with her. You sit down on your bed and tell her the story of everything that's happened since the party, leaving out any sexually graphic information, of course. She didn't need to know _everything_ that took place behind closed doors.

"So are you guys... you know, together?" Your face falls at the question.

"No. But it's fine. It's like what you told me the other day, every girl knows what they're doing when getting involved with Eren, and he and I agreed to keep it casual."

"That doesn't make sense though." Sasha tilts her head and furrows her brow.

"What do you mean?" you inquire, puzzled at her statement.

"Well, we were having lunch together once and this girl... what was it? Ash brown hair, green eyes... Fuck, I don't remember but they used to be all over each other last semester. She came up to him and started rambling about how he _has_ give her a call and how she wanted to _catch up_." she says, signaling quotation marks with her fingers around the last two words. "Eren pretty much blew her off and sent her on her way. I thought maybe he was just in a bad mood that day, but maybe he was just being... loyal? Is that the right word to use here? That was before Jean had told me your secret, though. So maybe around... three weeks ago?"

You ponder over this new piece of information, not really knowing what to do with it. Sasha stares at your troubled expression, remembering how you wore the same one when you asked her about Eren's attitude towards other girls.

"Do you like Eren? And I mean _like_ like him. Like you actually want to _be_ with him." Sasha's concerned voice rips you from your thoughts. A cold shiver runs down your back and your nose gets that tingly feeling that lets you know you're about to cry.

"I do." You drop your face into your hands, sensing the arrival of tears and Sasha hurries over to sit beside you. You can't see her, but worry is written across her face as she looks at your trembling figure. A few seconds pass before she speaks up.

"You should tell him. I'm not sure if Eren's changed up his thoughts on compromise but it's not fair if you're the one out to get yourself hurt by not letting your feelings be known." she says, rubbing your back in comfort. All you can bring yourself to do is weep into her shoulder. Sasha misses her first class that morning.

\---

Your week goes by painfully slow, your conversation with Sasha burning holes in your skull, especially the part about Eren's possible loyalty to you. You didn't allow yourself to get excited about it, you couldn't. Eren was fine with having more than one consistent sexual relationship at the same time, but maybe he was just practicing self control or trying not to take more girls than he could handle. Even so, there had been a shift in the way the two of you would interact. You try to brush it off as your imagination playing sick tricks on your heart, but you remain restless nonetheless. _Maybe you're the only one causing the shift. Maybe you're the one reading too much into how he acts around you. Maybe you're so hopeful for something to happen that you keep misinterpreting trivial things as evidence for feelings that aren't even there._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter :) Have a good week everybody, read you next time!
> 
> Feel free to follow me on [tumblr](https://emepe-fics.tumblr.com/)! (Just make sure to read my rules, please) I post my works on there as well and you can view any updates on my writing and future projects, as well as send me any prompts, requests, or asks :)


	8. gestures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Squeals over this chapter because of one specific sentence* 
> 
> In case no one noticed, the number of chapters for If it's You has gone up from 10 to 12 :D I'm really excited to work on the remaining chapters and I'm also planning something for the Jean stans ;) That's all I have for announcements so...
> 
> Happy reading, y'all!

It was now a couple of weeks after you had been caught red handed by Sasha. Eren had freaked out when she didn't show up for their class and called to make sure everything was okay. After reassuring him that Sasha had no intention to intervene in what was going on and that you had suffered no broken bones or reprimands, he asked you both out to lunch to make up for all the trouble. It wasn't as awkward as you expected it to be. Sasha remained pretty breezy about it all, not that there were still any surprise factors that she didn't know of for weeks already, and Eren stopped shying away from her gaze when she made a dirty joke after he ordered the chicken breast and the three of you burst in laughter. You had made her promise to not tell him anything about your confession beforehand, and she had flicked your forehead, more upset at the fact that you ever thought she would sell you out, than she had been about the secret affair in the first place. 

It was all very lucky and convenient that the Sasha situation had been smoothed over so quickly, giving you freedom to cram and go through your midterms without the extra stress for the last week. You would have succumbed to your bed after coming back from your last exam on Thursday, had not Sasha burst through the door squealing excitedly, the whole scene playing out in front of you giving you very much _déjà vu_. 

"What is it now?" you groan, crawling on your bed.

"Have you seen the school news board yet?" You mumble a denial and she pulls out her phone.

"Classes are canceled next Friday, all majors."

"Why?" you ask, your voice muffled thanks to you being face down on your pillow.

"Some administrative thing, but who cares! Jean says he already asked his parents for the key to their lake house and said we should all spend the weekend there." You lazily give her a thumbs up without lifting your head.

"You are no fun," Sasha teases. "Come on, it's gonna be great."

"I'm gonna have to call home to see if it's alright." You finally sit up on your bed and Sasha gives you an expectant look.

"Well, hurry up and do it!" she urges. You shake your head, chuckling softly, but grab your phone from the bedside table and begin dialing the numbers.

"Hi, hun! How are you? Is everything okay?" your parent's voice comes in through the speaker. You smile, feeling like you haven't spoke to them in weeks, even though it was just a couple of days ago when you last checked in.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just called to tell you about something."

"What is it?"

"Well, all majors are getting their classes suspended next Friday and a few of my friends were planning to go out together for the whole weekend. Just wanted to give you a heads up," you explain.

"You mean to tell me you're getting a long weekend but you won't come home?" _Ah, the guilt tripping begins._

"Well, it's not like I get enough time to go out and have fun on the regular." _So does the lying._

"Boohoo," they mock. Then, you hear a reluctant sigh. "You can go, but you're coming home this weekend to make up for it. Three months is too long for me not to see you." 

"Okay, deal," you chuckle softly and give Sasha a thumbs up to which she raises her fists in the air in triumph and flops down on her bed. You hang up the phone soon after, finally ready to nap, but Sasha doesn't let you. 

"You know, Eren's going, too." The tone of her voice is unsettling, like she's insinuating something you're not fully grasping. "Might be a good opportunity to fess up. Jean's lake house is very romantic." You give her a menacing look and she raises her hands in surrender. "I was just speaking my mind." You roll your eyes and drop back onto your stomach, your face turned towards the wall. The room is silent, but you somehow don't feel sleepy anymore. Sasha speaks to you from her bed. "I understand if you're not ready, or if the idea of doing so doesn't seem ideal... but you were _crying_. I hated seeing you like that. If you aren't planning to tell him the truth, you should just break it off before things get worse for you." _So much for not intervening_. You couldn't be mad at her, though. You knew she was right and bottling up your feelings had definitely taken its toll on you, and it had only been a few days since you admitted them to yourself.

"I'll tell him, just not at the lake house... after. I don't want to ruin our weekend if he ends up hating me for it, and me running back home the minute it happens wouldn't _not_ make questions rise."

"You'd run away?"

"It'd feel wrong to stay."

\---

"Do we really have to do this now? We aren't leaving until _next_ weekend," you whine. Had it been your choice, you would have slept through the entire day after your last class on Friday, but Sasha dragged you out to meet up with your friends to make arrangements for next weekend.

"Come on, it'll be quick. Besides, next week we'll be busy with classes and you're going back home tonight so it has to be now," is what she had said and you simply groaned, but allowed her to haul you through the courtyard and into a seat at an empty table where you would wait for the guys to show up. 

So, there you are now, chin propped on the table, arms drooping by your sides, only looking up whenever you had to pipe in on answering Jean's questions regarding what you should all eat, buy, pack and do for your weekend away while Niccolo, Sasha and Connie would banter in the background. You feel yourself zoning out of the conversation for who knows how many times now, the last thing you manage to hear being Sasha's animated praises towards Niccolo's cooking once he offered to take charge of kitchen duty for everyone.

You press your cheek against the cool surface of the table and already feel yourself dozing off when a gentle poke on your thigh brings you to open your eyes. To your left, in what used to be an empty seat no less than a minute ago, is Eren, who just arrived with Armin by his side. He offers you a side smile and you reciprocate, letting out a small huff of air through your nose. You straighten up in your seat, and prop your chin on one hand to at least seem interested in the conversation unfolding in front of you. Eren takes your other hand in his and plays with it absentmindedly under the table, tracing the lines on your palm and trying to crack your knuckles, to which you just chew on the inside of your cheek to contain your smiles. 

"Okay, so if Armin is the last one to get out of class at four, we should all meet up at five... Now we just gotta figure out who rides with who... So three cars..." Jean rambles while scribbling the details in his notebook, but Eren frowns at his last few words.

"Wait, three cars? Who else is driving?"

"Niccolo," Jean curtly responds. "We'll drive everyone in the first two and you can bring the luggage and the food. Simple. Everybody's more comfortable that way."

"Still, why do we need three cars? There's only seven of us and Zeke said to take his minivan instead of my car. I'm pretty sure we can all fit in two."

"Yeah, no. I invited Mikasa and she said she would bring a couple of friends, so every car is going to be full." Both you and Armin turn to look at Eren warily. As his best friend, you were sure Armin knew how Eren felt towards the aforementioned girl, too. 

"Why?" Eren drops your hand, clearly frustrated at Jean's sudden news bomb. 

"She heard me talking about it with Niccolo and asked if she could tag along." Jean's voice is indifferent, but he shoots daggers in Eren's direction. "Come on, you guys get along great, don't you?" he provokes. Eren stares at him in disbelief, his jaw clenched, but doesn't give into Jean's jab. They both give each other insinuating looks under the perplexed faces of their friends, who all watch in silence, not understanding what secret messages they're exchanging.

"Man, whatever," Eren mutters and he slumps into his seat. You see a hint of a smirk on Jean's mouth as he turns back to his notes.

Eren crosses his arms and you lower your gaze to your hands under the table so nobody can see your troubled expression. The atmosphere is getting heavy after the silent showdown and Sasha's eyes flicker nervously between you and Eren before she smacks Jean's head.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" Jean whines, rubbing the spot where he was hit.

"Come on, Jean. I thought this was supposed to be just us," she retorts.

"It's just a few more people. There's room for everybody." Jean finishes jotting things down in his notebook and soon everyone is dismissed. Eren doesn't speak at all for the remainder of your meeting, and you all split up without as much as a glance goodbye. When you and Sasha are getting near your dorm building, however, he shows up running behind you and grabs your wrist to keep you from going inside. 

"Hold on, can I talk to you for a minute?" His expression is unreadable, which makes whatever it is he wants to say a bit scary. You take your phone from your pocket and check the time before giving him a nod.

"Yeah, sure."

Sasha gestures that she'll wait for you upstairs with an awkward smile and leaves the two of you alone beside the parking lot. Eren lets out an exasperated sigh and runs his hands through his hair, making a few strands come loose from his bun.

"I- I had no idea Mikasa was going, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. I'm pretty sure it took everyone by surprise." You try to seem relaxed, but the short chuckle you let out is awkward and tense. Eren brings his hand up to rub the back of his neck, grimacing slightly.

"Right. I guess I don't have to explain myself to you, huh?" His tone isn't malicious, but it still makes you ache inside, even though those were your own words from just a few months ago. You don't really know how to respond to him, so you both just stand there, avoiding one another's gaze. When you steal a glance at him, though, he's already looking at you, an anxious feeling reflected in his eyes. "Sorry, that was kind of mean. I just didn't want you to think I was okay with this."

"No worries, you already told me how you feel, so..." you drift off. Eren just hums and nods, his lips tightly pursed. A golden outline surrounds his figure as the sun starts to set and a pink hue adorns his cheeks.

"Do you wanna go have dinner or something?" he asks and he raises his eyebrows, his wide eyes and soft pout making you almost forget that you have a train to catch, but not quite. So, despite how badly you want to say yes, you shake your head and give him an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, I can't. I'm going home for the weekend and my train leaves at seven."

"Oh," he breathes out, nodding. "I can take you to the station... if you want." You smile at him but shake your head once more. 

"It's alright, I can manage." He's starting to look like a bobblehead with how much he's nodding. _He must still be shaken up about Mikasa._

"Okay, well, I guess I'll see you next week."

"Yeah, see you." You raise your palm as a goodbye gesture and turn to your building. A gentle grip on your wrist stops you and you're pulled towards Eren's body, his hand wrapping your arm around his waist to then engulf you in a warm hug, his face nuzzled into your neck like the night you visited his room. Just like that time, your face instantly heats up and a wave of electricity courses through your body. Eren places an open mouthed kiss on your neck, his tongue darting out for a small lick. He pecks you once more and you feel him smiling against your skin.

"Have a safe trip," is all he says before breaking away and walking out of the parking lot.

\---

"You didn't have to see me off, you know." You're sitting on a bench at the train station, your small suitcase in front of you with your bag hanging off the handle. Sasha's seated next to you, snacking on a bag of gummy bears.

"I'm just trying to be a good friend." Sasha shrugs and keeps ripping the heads off of her candies. Although you want to believe in her good intentions, it did seem a bit fishy that she insisted in coming along when you had refused to give any details on your conversation with Eren in the parking lot. She hadn't asked directly, but the sneaky side eye and the nervous shake in her leg had been enough for you to know what she wanted you to spill. 

"So..." _Here it comes_. "You seemed cozy with Eren back there. Did you actually confess or something?" She focuses her gaze straight ahead and chews dramatically on her gummy bears in a pathetic attempt to suppress her smile. You can't help but laugh at her goofy expression.

"No, he wanted to apologize about Mikasa going to the lake house," you explain, ignoring the fact that she had been spying on you.

"Why would he apologize, though? It was Jean's doing."

"I don't know. He just told me he didn't want me to think it was something he was okay with." Sasha hums in response, brow furrowed. 

"That actually makes it sound like he's guilty of something, like he's overwhelmed by having two of his mistresses in the same house," she says, squinting her eyes and pursing her lips. You just roll your eyes. 

"Dunno. Either way, I'm glad to have this weekend away to mull about it," you reply sarcastically. In that moment, the speakers near the benches chime to announce the arrival of your train and you both stand up to get closer to the platform. The train closes in and you turn to give Sasha a hug before boarding. 

"Call me when you get home," she says, pulling back and pinching your cheek.

"I will, see you on Sunday." You haul your suitcase onto the train and take a few steps before hearing Sasha's voice yell after you one last time.

"Oh, and come back with food, our fridge is empty!" You laugh and shake your head, face warming in embarrassment from everyone who's already on board hearing your roommate scream. As you walk down the aisle, looking for your seat, you see her grin at you excitedly from the windows, one hand over her chest and the other one flailing the empty cellophane bag from her snack in the air, as if it were a handkerchief and she's bidding farewell to her lover who's leaving for war. You just chuckle at her silly antics.

After fixing your suitcase in the overhead compartment and your bag under your seat, you sit down and lean your head against the cold glass of the window, today's events taking up every corner of your mind.

You'd be lying if you said Jean's accusations back at the courtyard didn't hurt. You already knew Eren didn't like Mikasa that way. If anything, that was supposed to give you some form of comfort but, truth is, it felt like a ton of bricks had fallen over you. Being reminded of his past with other girls was a lot more painful now than it had ever been. But just because he didn't plan on getting with Mikasa next weekend didn't mean he felt any different towards you either, and the already piercing pressure in your chest felt even worse knowing that Mikasa was a reflection of the same treatment you would receive if Eren found out how you truly felt. You wouldn't insist on making him fall for you or keeping you around like Mikasa did, no. But you didn't want to hurt yourself by lagging around him when you knew you wanted more, and ignoring your feelings wasn't an option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The people who predicted Mikasa would make a comeback are feeling real smart rn lol
> 
> This chapter is a little short, only because I want the trip to have it's own separate chapters. Still, this chapter was so fun to write for some reason (probably because I really enjoy sweet + slightly spicy gestures myself) so I hope you all enjoyed it, too! 
> 
> You're all welcome to follow me on my [tumblr](https://emepe-fics.tumblr.com/) to keep up with my update schedule, future projects, send me asks or read my ramblings and chat. For those of you who prefer AO3, I'll read you next week!


	9. lake house getaway day 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :) I don't even know if anyone is keeping track of my update schedule, but if you are, I'm sorry I'm late :/ I was doing homework and if I log into AO3, it just means I'll be spiraling into a sea of new fics to read and that would _not_ have helped my situation. But chapter 9 is finally here, so it's all good! :D
> 
> Happy reading everybody!

_Will he notice?_ You thread your fingers through your freshly cut locks on the car ride back to Shiganshina. You had been begged to stay all Sunday at home with the promise that you would be driven back to campus on time for your first lecture on Monday. It was a five hour drive and, considering the academic portion of your day started at noon, you had woken up more early than you would have liked, inevitably drowning in regret towards your inability to say no, as you trudged around your house to get ready with half closed eyes. You had planned on sleeping in the car to avoid having your eyes burn for the whole day, but that agenda had been thrown out the window by the time you plopped yourself onto the passenger seat, your initial tiredness having already faded with the labor of carrying your bags out of the house and being met with a cool breeze outside. You had kept your silent promise with Sasha to bring back food, a canvas tote bag packed with various dishes in plastic containers placed on your lap. _At least we can save money on food this week._

You look at the clock on the dashboard, it's barely been thirty minutes since you parted from home. You sigh and press your head against the window, observing your mildly distorted reflection in the sideview mirror on the other side of the glass. The new look you're sporting isn't dramatic, but still somewhat noticeable. You chew on your bottom lip, suddenly questioning if you should have gone with a more aggressive change so he could easily catch sight of it. Somehow, in the midst of your unnecessarily anxious debate over your hair, you end up falling asleep.

Four hours later, you're woken up with a light shake. You jolt awake and turn to look at the loving face beside you telling you that you're in front of your dorm building. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you unlock your door and lightly kick it open with your foot, careful not to jostle the contents in your tote bag as you step out into the parking lot. As your eyes slowly adjust to the brightness, you walk to the back of the car and pull your suitcase and bag from the trunk. You slip the straps of your bag around the suitcase handle and turn to say goodbye, but pause when a wad of cash is handed to you.

"What's this for?"

"I thought you could use the extra cash for your trip. You can splurge a little on food or whatever you want." Your expression softens at the gesture and you gratefully take the money and put it in your jacket pocket, closing the zipper to not risk having it fall out.

"Well, thank you. This is very generous," you say sincerely. You wave your last goodbye before hauling your bags to the dorm building. You're met with the sight of Sasha lightly jogging down the stairs and running towards you to engulf you in a warm hug.

"What are you doing here?" you ask her, surprised.

"Well, you did say you were getting here before noon, so I ditched my last class early to welcome you back. I was waiting by the window," Sasha says, fiddling with her fingers.

"Or your class was really boring and you used _me_ as an excuse to get out early," you state, giving her a knowing smile to which she replies with an eye roll.

"This is what I get for being a good friend."

You finish carrying your bags upstairs and Sasha immediately takes on the task of storing the Tupperware containers in the mini fridge while you sit on your bed.

"Remind me to call your house and thank them for the food later," she says excitedly. You smile at her and begin to form a reply, when your phone rings. Yeager is written on the screen in large letters. You show Sasha before putting a finger to your lips and answering. Sasha rolls her eyes playfully.

"Hello?"

"Hey, pretty girl, how was your trip?" Eren's voice sounds muffled through the speaker.

"Not bad... Hey, are you sick or something? You sound a little weird," you tell him. Sasha turns to look at the phone pressed against your ear with narrowed eyes.

"Depends... if I tell you I'm dying, will you come over again like last time?" he teases and you feel your face get warm. You're taking some time to respond, only noticing it when Eren laughs on the other side. "It's nothing serious, just a cold," he reassures you.

"Oh... are you going to be okay for this weekend?"

"Absolutely! Nothing is gonna keep me from spending an entire weekend away from this city." You can tell he's smiling from his tone of voice and you feel better about his condition. "Also wouldn't want you to miss me too much," he adds.

"As if," you say, shaking your head and smiling goofily at the floor.

"I uh- Sasha told me you'd be back at this hour, so I wanted to call you before you left for class to check in," he explains.

"Well, that's very considerate of you."

"How are things at home?"

"Eh... same old, same old. Nothing bad, nothing new," you admit shrugging as if he can see you.

"What about that five hour drive?" he laughs.

"Exhausting! I tried to nap on the way here, but I couldn't stop thinking about-" You notice you have been absentmindedly playing with your hair with your fingers and the small worries that plagued your mind during the car ride resurface.

"Couldn't stop thinking about what?" There's a pause on both ends. "Me?" he chuckles airily.

"Yeah right, Yeager. You're so full of yourself."

"I mean, you _do_ call my name in your sleep, so I'm just going for the obvious choice here," he laughs and your face warms up once more.

"Shut up, you're so annoying," you reply.

"Really? I think you might actually have a huge crush on me." _Yes_.

"No, you idiot." You nervously pull at a loose thread from your comforter as the silence is prolonged. You hear Eren sigh.

"Hey, uh- I think you should probably get to class. It's 11:55." You look at the digital clock on Sasha's nightstand and frantically gather your things.

"Crap, you're right. I'm sorry, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," Eren says, his tone sounding a lot more serious than when the call began. "Also... I was just kidding before." You pause your hasty movements and chew on your bottom lip before answering.

"I know, Eren. Bye."

* * *

Thursday came by and exactly five minutes to five o' clock, you and Sasha stumbled into your dorm to gather your things. You had been stupid enough to agree to let her haul you off campus grounds for lunch. She had insisted that you would thank her later when you were stuck in a car for two hours and when nobody would have the energy to cook once you all got to the lake house. Since it would be her third time visiting the place, you trusted Sasha's judgement on what the standard first night routine went like. Problem is, you didn't notice how fast time had gone by while you were devouring your meals, until it was twenty minutes before your scheduled departure. You both hopped into an Uber and Sasha had made you call Jean to tell him you were going to be late.

 _He won't get mad if your the one calling_ , is what she had said.

Jean had replied to you calmly, reassuring you it was okay, and that instead of having you both rush to the frat house, they would drive to your dorm building to pick you both up. The timing was perfect, Niccolo's car coming to a stop in the first spot of the parking lot as you and Sasha walk out of the glass doors. Niccolo and Connie step out and help you put your luggage in the trunk and then you all hop back in, Sasha riding shotgun and you sitting in the back with Connie.

"Where's everyone else?" Sasha asks as you all buckle your seatbelts.

"They probably just left the frat house, I told them to give me a ten minute head start. We're meeting up at the gas station on Trost," Niccolo explains.

Ten minutes later, you pull into the aforementioned gas station and Niccolo hops out to self serve. You look around and spot Jean leaning against the hood of his Jeep, with Zeke's mini van parked right in front, Eren's figure looking like nothing more than a black shadow in the driver seat. You can't be too sure from your point of view, but it seems like Mikasa is riding in the copilot seat and you can feel your heart sink. It's silly to feel so affected by something so trivial, but it's not something you can ignore.

"Hey, did you buy enough snacks?" Sasha whips around in her seat and turns to look at Connie, who barely looks up from the game he's playing on his phone.

"Dunno. Niccolo and Jean were in charge of groceries. I just pitched in some cash," Connie responds. "I'm pretty sure Jean said to focus on mainly buying the essentials, though" Sasha turns to look at you with hopeful eyes and a smile.

"Wanna go into the convenience store with me?"

You mimic her smile and nod, unbuckling your seatbelt and following her out of the car.

The wind hits you both with force as you step out, and you pull the hood of your sweater over your head, tugging at the drawstrings to tighten it around you and stuffing your hands into your pockets. Sasha follows your lead in trying to keep herself warm, adjusting the beanie lower on her head. You both walk across the lot to the convenience store a few feet from Niccolo's car. The bell on the door dings when you walk in and you both begin to stroll down the chip aisle.

Not even a minute later, the bell starts ringing erratically and you hear the store clerk scold the customers into coming into the store in a less rowdy manner. Both you and Sasha look up over the chips display and see Jean and Eren bumping shoulders to walk into the store first. Sasha sighs in aggravation and shakes her head. You look at her with confusion, but keep browsing. Things between Jean and Eren had been awkward since the hookup secret had been revealed, so it wasn't that surprising to see them bicker, but it still heavily annoyed Sasha and you never got around to asking why to anybody.

"Take care of salty things, I'm gonna go look for something sweet, okay?" you tell her and she nods.

"Get me a jumbo bag of gummy bears, please" she calls after you and you give her a thumbs up over your shoulder to let her know you heard her.

As you make a turn for the next aisle, you run into someone's chest and stumble back, and pair of hands fly out to your shoulders to help you keep your balance.

"Hi." You look up into a pair of sparkling emerald eyes.

"Hi," you respond and break into a shy smile. There's a light tint of pink brushed across Eren's cheeks, probably from the cold. He's wearing a beanie and an oversized grey hoodie, coincidentally the same one that he wore that first night. He grins and pats your head over your hood before turning to look at the sweets aisle.

"What are you looking for? I'll get it for you."

"A jumbo bag of gummy bears for Sasha," you replicate his grin and you both begin to search for the snack.

"It's your first time coming with us, are you excited?" he asks as you find Sasha's request and also begin to grab various other sweets for everyone else. Eren takes every item from you and holds it while you slowly make your way through other snack categories.

"A little. I think Sasha's more excited about me going than I am, though," you chuckle softly.

"I'm excited you're here, too," he confesses. You look up at him and he's staring at the pile of snacks in his arms. He seems shy and now that he's had some time to warm up in the convenience store, you've become aware that the red on his cheeks isn't just from the cold.

"Eren?" you call him softly and he turns to look at you with apprehension. You don't really process what you're doing. All you know is the knot forming in your stomach is pushing you to reach out to caress his face, and ever so slightly stand on your toes to connect your mouth with his. You see his lips part and he starts leaning in as well, your name being whispered. You can feel his warm breath fan across your face, you flutter your eyes closed and he does the same.

"Hey, should we take honey barbecue or just plain barbecue?" Sasha asks, turning the corner in front of you, each hand holding the corresponding bags. You and Eren pull away from each other and frantically look to your sides. Sasha gives you a sheepish grin, which only makes you shake your head.

"I'm gonna grab both, kay? I'll see you at the cash register," she announces with a wink before turning on her heel and walking away.

"Come on," you tell Eren. He nods without looking at you and follows your lead. He dumps all the items on the counter along with Sasha's selection.

"You know it's just one weekend, right?" Jean teases you from his spot beside Sasha.

"We snack _a lot_ , so this is barely enough," you reply. Sasha nods with pride and both Jean and Eren laugh. The four of you wait for everything to be scanned, watching the number on the small led screen go up.

When the total is announced, Sasha immediately grabs her bag of gummy bears and rips it open. Jean and Eren start rummaging their pockets in search for money, but you stop them.

"I got it," you say, pulling out the wad of cash you received for your trip. You hadn't pitched in for groceries. Jean had insisted you didn't have to pay for anything and to just enjoy your first time to the lake house, but you're refusing that now, of course. You didn't think it'd be fair. Jean narrows his eyes at you and you giggle as you each take a bag and walk out of the store to where all your friends are waiting.

You each hand off the bags for Eren to take back to the minivan and go to your assigned cars. Eren stops you before you walk away.

"You wanna switch rides? I'm carrying like half of our luggage plus groceries, but there's still room. You can ride in the front," he offers and smiles at you. From behind him, you see Mikasa stepping out of the minivan and jogging lightly towards you. You shake your head at Eren and purse your lips into an awkward side smile. He frowns, but shifts his demeanor when Mikasa grabs his shoulder.

"Need some help?" she asks him. Eren's face falls; you try your best to not give off any emotions.

"I'm good," Eren tells her.

Mikasa looks at you and beams. She calls your name as a question and you nod with a smile. Her hair is styled in low pigtails and she's wearing a black beanie to match her black puffer jacket, her lips popping with maroon lipstick. _She's awfully pretty_.

"Do you want to ride with us? It's a little lonely since Eren's not much of a talker," she nudges his side with her elbow. You can't keep your eyes away from that small bit of physical contact. Eren shifts returns his gaze to you, a hopeful glint in his eyes. You weigh your options and ultimately, riding in the same car as both of them doesn't seem too appealing, not when you don't know what to expect from Mikasa.

"Sorry. I would, but I can't leave Connie to third wheel Sasha and Niccolo on his own," you chuckle and Mikasa joins you.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Third wheeling alone isn't a good time for anyone, huh?" The smile on Mikasa's face seems so innocent, but her words make you shudder. You limit yourself to giving her a half-hearted smile and nodding.

"Okay, then. We'll see you at the lake house," she says, taking a bag from Eren and giving you a small wave. She begins walking back to the car, letting Eren trail behind her.

"I'll see you at the lake house, okay?" Eren repeats. You nod.

"Yeah, see you."

* * *

You take in every aspect of the interior as you walk through the front door of Jean's lake house. Everything seems to scream rustic chic. The wall to your left is one giant bookcase, going from the entrance all the way to the opposite side of the room, where it's cut off by the staircase that leads to the second floor. In the center of the room is a set of brown leather sofas surrounding a glass coffee table, all set in front of the flat screen TV that's mounted on the wall. Immediately on your right, right next to the entrance is a bar with high wooden stools on one side and a tall liquor cabinet. Between the bar and the living room, there's an arched entryway leading to a hall and a couple of closed doors, which you presume are the dining room or the kitchen.

Everyone from Jean and Eren's car has already settled down on the sofas to rest from the long drive. You undo the drawstring of your sweater and take off your hood as you look around. When he sees you, Eren stands and makes his way over to you as you push your suitcase with the rest of the luggage in front of the bookshelves.

"Hi," he says, a side smile on his face. It didn't matter that you'd already greeted each other back at the store, every _hi_ he ever pronounced to you made your tummy flip.

"Hi," you respond shyly and he leans in to plant a kiss on your cheek. You hadn't taken it in back at the convenience store, but now you close your eyes as the mix of lavender fabric softener and his trademark woodsy scent comes wafting into your nose.

"Sorry we got interrupted back at the store," he whispers in your ear. When he straightens up again, he grabs your shoulders and tilts his head, taking a step back and analyzing your appearance with a furrowed brow.

"You cut your hair," he says bluntly.

Your hand instinctively wraps around the strands, as if you hadn't noticed your own subtle physical change until Eren had brought it up. _Why does he have to be the type of guy that notices these things? Why are you so nervous when you wanted him to notice it so badly in the first place?_

"You look pretty," he compliments, his smile growing wider as he threads his fingers between the locks. His eyes seem to twinkle in fascination and you feel as if you could die happily right then and there. Jean suddenly stands and starts clapping his hands, trying to get everyone's attention and you blink, remembering that it's not just you and Eren in the room.

"Alright, listen up! There's four bedrooms upstairs, girls take the two on the left, guys take the ones on the right. For those of you who are visiting for the first time, there's a full bathroom in each room, just figure out a shower schedule yourselves. All the rooms are the same size, so nobody has any right to complain. Remember what I said back at the frat house, master bedroom is _off limits_ , okay? But for the love of all things holy, if you're gonna use it, at least try to keep it down," he announces with his hands on his hips, coughing Sasha's and Niccolo's names at the end. Everyone chuckles at his pointed remark and Sasha glares at him from her seat on Niccolo's lap.

You look around and detect two faces you've never seen before. There are two short girls with blond hair and blue eyes. While one seems very cheery and energetic, the other one seems to have a more reserved personality. She's not exactly glaring at anybody, but her expression almost makes it seem likes she's bored with everything. _Those must be Mikasa's friends_.

You theory is confirmed when Eren catches you looking at them and leans down to whisper their names in your ear.

"The gloomy one is Annie and the smaller one is Christa."

"Oh, so you know them, too?" He shrugs.

"They introduced themselves back at the frat house. You would've known if you hadn't been late," he pokes your cheek and you laugh, but shy away from his touch when you notice Mikasa looking in your direction with a subtle scowl grazing her features.

Eren frowns and sighs when he takes note of the reason for your sudden change in attitude.

Jean goes on to explain the details regarding cleaning duties and you all get a move on on settling in. Connie, Armin and Eren are hauled to the upstairs floor by Jean, who says he needs help with something regarding the bedrooms. Meanwhile, you stay with the girls and Niccolo to set up the kitchen, plug in the refrigerator and any other appliances, clean and put all the groceries away.

When you finish, you all trudge upstairs with your luggage. Armin comes out to guide Mikasa and her posse to their assigned bedroom at the end of the hall.

Jean hadn't been kidding when he said there's more than enough room for everyone. Every bedroom had it's own toilet and shower and each one had been equipped with two beds. When you stalk across the hall to take a look at Jean's shared bedroom with Niccolo and Connie, though, you can't help but widen your eyes at the differences. To ensure all the girls would be comfortable, Jean had instructed everyone else to make do with a trundle bed you had watched them drag from a storage room while you were cleaning the table of the dining room across the hall a few minutes ago—you had assumed they needed to take out the furniture for every visit, but were confused when they never came back down for more—, and a sleeping bag.

"You know, Sasha and I can share a bed so nobody has to sleep on the floor," you say to no one in particular, but hoping Connie is willing to accept the offer, as you watch him position his sleeping bag next to the window. Connie looks at Jean hopefully, but Jean looks at you tenderly and refuses.

"No, I want you to be comfortable."

"Well, I won't actually be comfortable if I know some of you aren't. Really, it's no big deal," you reassure him. Jean sighs but gives in.

"If you say so. Connie, come on, let's bring it back." Connie groans, but hurries to follow Jean's command, annoyed and tired, but relieved that he no longer has to settle for a sleeping bag. As they carry the extra bed back to their room, you wander over to Eren's shared bedroom with Armin. Their situation isn't as bad as what you had just seen with Connie, although they're both struggling with the air pumps for their inflatable mattresses.

"You okay there, Eren?" you giggle. He looks at you with an amused grin and stands from his spot on the floor. Armin smiles at you and nods in acknowledgement and you do the same.

"Very funny." Eren ruffles your hair playfully and you pout in the same manner.

"At least you get an actual bed all to yourself," he says. You hum in denial.

"Not true, I'm sharing a bed with Sasha," you notify him and he tilts his head with confusion, his eyebrows knit together.

"But I moved an extra bed to your room, what happened?"

"I gave it to Connie." He frowns at your response. "He was setting up a sleeping bag, Eren," you explain.

"So what?" he whines. You can't help but throw your head back in laughter. Armin joins you in the background, shaking his head softly.

"Eren, that's not nice," you tell him. "I'm gonna go unpack okay?"

"Okay," he says with a smile. He leans in and your eyes widen, thinking he's going to kiss you right in front of Armin, but he closes in against your ear.

"If Sasha can't handle your kicking at night, I'll be glad to take her place," he whispers, tugging at your ear with his teeth before pulling away. A wave of heat takes over your face and you rush back to your room without another word.

  


**Eren's POV**

I watch her disappear behind her bedroom door and laugh quietly to myself.

"You really have to put a stop to this, Eren." Armin's voice snaps me back to the present and I roll my eyes at him but sigh. _I know he's right_.

"I know, Armin. And I will, I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone who predicted this week's chapter to be a spicy one was WRONG! I promise there are still spicy scenes left lol I just thought it was funny, since the pattern for this story has been smut for all odd numbered chapters 😅
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the update. Feel free to follow me on [tumblr](https://emepe-fics.tumblr.com/) to keep up with me and my writing and chat :) For those of you that prefer AO3, I'll read you next week.


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